Perfectly Prepared Pineapple Pie
by Lossy
Summary: Shawn was gone for a long time when he first left Santa Barbara. In that time, he met a mysterious pie maker with an incredible gift. Years later, the two meet again under unfortunate circumstances. Now Shawn has to save his friend, lie to the police, and keep the pie makers secrets from being revealed.
1. Don't Forget To Tip Your Waitress

Summary: Shawn was gone for a long time before he came back to Santa Barbara. In that time he met some exciting people, people who will call upon him for help in the future.

Pushing Daisies, Psych crossover

Disclaimer: I don't own any of this. All I own is immense depression over the fact that my two favorite shows have ended and that I will never see a new episode again.

General info for psych: The first few chapters take place after Shawn graduates and leaves Santa Barbara. Im not sure when exactly he leaves, so im guessing its a couple years after he graduates? Im sure it was mentioned in the show but by god its been years since I last watched psych. The rest of the story will take place in season five. Before Juliet and Shawn are dating.

General info for pushing Daisies: This is going to take place at the end of all the episodes, ignoring the last episode. Also, im taking some liberties with Neds powers. Im absolutely keeping it as close to canon as possible because im not about changing shit too much. Still, his powers make like zero sense. So I'll either make up my own mechanics or just explain things away with the all encompassing excuse, _magic. _Also, this wont include any information from the comics as ive sadly never read them. (if anyone's got a good link to them hit me up! haha)

* * *

Perfectly Prepared Pineapple Pie.

Author: Ulyssa

* * *

Ned the pie maker grabbed a thick lump of dough and placed it on the flour covered counter. Reaching for his rolling pin, the pie maker made quick work of the dough, rolling it out expertly so that the entire thing was even. Looking up to make sure that Olive was out of the kitchen and focused on helping the last of the nightly customers, the pie maker reached for an overripe and slightly moldy pineapple.

As soon as he touched it, the pineapple sprung to life, the mold disappearing.

Chopping the fruit up quickly, Ned placed the diced pineapple into the pie, where he could never touch it again. Placing the Pie in the oven, Ned looked up at the clock on the wall. It was eight thirty and nearly time to close. Ned wiped his hands on his apron and started to clean up. He grabbed the knifes and bowls he had been using, wiped up the flour scattered about, and picked up the extra bits of pineapple that had been left on the counter, ignoring as the extra pieces wilted and died in his hands. He was throwing away the now dead chunks when Olive wandered into the kitchen, sniffing the air.

"New pie?" She asked leaning against the counter and placing her chin on her hands. She batted her eyes at Ned and watched him fidget with the rag he was using to clean.

"Uh, yeah. Pineapple. Thought I would try it, see what its like." He leaned away from her, when she leaned forward.

"Pineapple?" She scrunched up her nose, thinking.

"How about..." There was a pause as she mouthed words to herself silently. Ned frowned slightly at her, knowing she was coming up with some silly name, and feeling slightly remorseful about it. He didn't like his pies having silly little names, because his pies were not silly little pies.

"Perfectly Prepared Pineapple Pie." She winked at him and leaned away from the counter, without waiting for a response. Ned cleared his throat.

"S-sounds fine." Though he wasn't into giving them names, he never really minded what Olive called them, as long as people came to eat them. Nodding to herself Olive, Glanced out into the lobby,

"Well boss. Everything's been cleaned up and put away, The doors are locked, signs are off, floors are mopped. So if you don't need me I'll be heading up to my apartment." She stretched and popped her back, yawning as she did so. She knew that Ned liked to bake pies in the quiet of his kitchen when all others had wandered off to bed. So with a final goodbye, she wished him good night and left the pie maker to his own devices.

* * *

The next day, Ned found himself once again making Pies in preparation for the day. He twirled pie crust silently and brought fruit back to life cautiously always making sure to keep tabs on Olives whereabouts before touching the fruit in the kitchen. At around one thirty, there was a large rush of customers and delivery requests that had Ned rushing to fulfill orders.

"Busy busy!" Olive rushed into the kitchen, opening the fridge that contained some call in orders and rushed back out to attend customers. Ned watched her go, appreciative of all the running around the restaurant she did. He watched again as she rushed behind the serving counter and grabbed the only Perfectly Prepared Pineapple Pie he had made today and cut a slice. Happy to know that someone had decided to give his newest creation a try, Ned returned all of his attention to his baking. He was so focused on keeping tabs on Olive and making his pies, that when he reached for a shriveled black strawberry, he never noticed the man sitting at the customers counter, watching him silently.

Shawn stared up at the giant pie crust that sat atop the small corner side building.

"Pie hole?" He read aloud, making a face at the name. He looked inside and notice how busy the restaurant looked. Deciding that it looked like a decent establishment, Shawn stepped forward and pulled the door open. Stepping through he ignored the little bell that chimed, announcing his presence and searched for a server. He was surprised to find that the only person working out front was a tiny little blond woman who seemed full of energy. He watched curiously as she hustled over to him.

"Hi! Welcome to The Pie Hole. As in "shut your." Or, in this case, "open your," because it's really good." She smiled brilliantly at him and gestured for him to follow. Shawn did as he was bid and sat down at the counter in the center of the restaurant. Before he could get a word in, the perky waitress shoved a menu in front of him.

"We have every kind of pie you could ever possibly want." She paused. "Well. Not every kind. But we have every really good kind, and that's whats really important. Besides, nobody would ever want bad pie so I guess I was right the first time. We have every pie you could ever want. Coffee? Water? Tea?" She stopped in a rush and stared at Shawn expectantly. Taken aback by the sheer amount of energy this woman possessed, it took Shawn a moment to realize that the end of her tirade had been a question.

"Coffee-" He was cut off once again by her smile.

"Excellent choice. Our rush started about two hours ago and I've already downed eight cups of coffee!" She patted him on the back, "The stuffs good, real good. Our espresso machine just got fixed. The stuffs strong too." She gave him a quick wink. "Its been about two hours since my last cup and I'm still jumpin like a jackrabbit runnin from a pack a wolves! I'll be right back with your coffee hun." The excited waitress ran off towards the back of the kitchen and from his spot at the counter Shawn watched as she twirled around the only other worker in the store. A tall gangly man, who shied away from her presence and seemed to have his thick eyebrows drawn in permanent worry.

Turning away from the odd couple Shawn examined the menu. His eyes instantly zeroed in on one specific entry and he knew exactly what he wanted. Setting the menu down Shawn examined the store around him. He told himself not to take note of every hat in the busy establishment, but in telling himself that, ended up counting each and every single one. Irritated with himself, Shawn reached for the creamer and fiddled with his coffee. The waitress eventually flittered over and asked him what he wanted, her energy still not diminished and Shawn ordered the, Perfectly Prepared Pineapple Pie. She took his order down and rushed off and Shawn was left alone to stir his coffee and stare straight ahead.

He was so lost in thought, that he didn't realize that he had been staring at the nervous pie maker until one of the Strawberries that the pie maker had just picked up, suddenly grew bigger and redder and much much fresher. Shawn's eyes widened in surprise and he jumped up from his seat in alarm and crashed right into the exuberant blond waitress. The exuberant blond waitress who just so happened to be carrying a very large tray full of numerous plates of pie and cups of coffee, soda and water. With a startled shriek the waitress went down in a flurry of limbs and a loud crash.


	2. Knock Knock Are You Still Open?

The entire restaurant went silent as Shawn whipped around and stared down at the waitress in horror.

"Oh my god!" He gasped and crouched down, grabbing her arm delicately. She was covered in pie and various drinks, and there were glass shards laying all around her.

"Ow ow owww!" The waitress hissed in pain and looked up at Shawn, a glare set on her face.

"What in name of all that is good and holy did you do that for!" She all but shrieked at him. Shawn gaped at her, his mouth opening and closing until he was finally able to speak.

"I am so sorry- so so so sorry! I just suddenly saw something and I got-" His explanation was cut off when the pie maker from the back suddenly appeared, crouched down at his fellow workers side. Shawn started at the sight of him, remembering the strawberry.

"Olive!" Ned flitted about her, but, Shawn noticed, he didn't touch her. By now most of the patrons in the store were watching the event unfold and were quietly muttering to themselves. Shawn looked around and then looked back at the pie maker. The pie maker looked even more nervous then he had before, also seeming to notice the attention of the customers.

"Are you okay Olive?" The pie maker asked, finally reaching out and laying a hand on Olives shoulder. Olive looked down at the hand and seemed to positively glow.

"Oh Ned. I'm fine. Aint nothin hurt but my pride." She looked over at Shawn. "Sorry about that hun I-" Shawn cut her off, knowing she was just playing the part of the diligent waitress.

"No way. I am so sorry for knocking you over, here let me help you up." He reached out and grabbed her hand, and elbow, the second he offered himself to help her, Ned The pie maker, removed his own hands. Shawn took note, but focused on helping Olive up. Pulling her to her feet he watched her face crumple in pain as she collapsed into him.

"Well dang." She groused looking down at the ground. Specifically at the ankle she was just now noticing she had sprained. Shawn felt more shame run through him.

"I am so sorry." He amended again.

"L-lets get her into the back." Ned suddenly spoke up, his eyes sweeping the customers that were still whispering and gawking. Noticing the pie makers unease Shawn nodded and followed cautiously. The two entered the kitchen and Shawn couldn't stop himself from glancing over at the bowl of ripe strawberries sitting innocently next to a bowl with one or two rotted strawberries in it. He swallowed nervously, confused about what he had seen and wondering if it had been real. Once again though, he had no time to dwell on the thought as very suddenly, Ned placed a stool down in front of him. Helping Olive sit, Shawn stepped away and glanced back at the bowl of strawberries one last time.

"I'm all right Ned. Really, just a little sprain. Its nothing a little ice wont fix. And I've worked on worse, why, give me a few minutes and I'll be ready to go right back out there." She glanced at her clothing.

"Its my outfit I'm worried about. I look like a right mess." She sighed heavily and looked up at Shawn.

"Uhm. I'm Sorry?" Shawn said it again, this time feeling more awful then the last, finally though his brain seemed to be able to process what had just happened and his mouth started going off before he could stop it.

"Really I am ma'am. I just thought I saw something strange." He glanced over at Ned, once quickly, and then went back to looking at Olive. "I reacted without thinking. I never meant to knock you over. If there is anything I can do to help then-" Not one to be out talked, Olive chimed in.

"Oh nonsense! It's my job to help customers, I've dodged a lot more sudden movements in the past. Its my fault for not watching more clearly." She sighed and made a move to stand up. Both Shawn and Ned rushed forward to stop her.

"Olive! No. I cant have you working with a twisted ankle. You need to go home and get some rest. I can manage the store by myself." Ned clasped his hands behind his back and looked down at Olive, his eyebrows turned down in worry. Olive looked at him skeptically.

"You? Take care of the customers?" She let out a little laugh.

"No offense Ned, but you're not exactly the most friendly person." She started staring up at him. He seemed shrink in on himself, but still managed to look indignant.

"I-I can be friendly!"

"I can help." Shawn suddenly blurted. He felt bad for knocking Olive over, but he was also incredibly curious about what he had seen Ned do with the strawberries earlier. Ned and Olive both stared at him. Ned looking nervous, and seriously did this guy have any other emotions? Olive laughed quietly.

"You? Help? What makes you think you can just walk out there and work without any training?" Olive questioned.

"I cant just...hire someone right off the street." Ned mumbled watching Shawn with worry. Shawn squared his shoulders.

"I can do it. I've been traveling the country for a while know and I've worked at a candy shop, a traveling coffee truck, a Whiner-mobile and," He paused and looked between the two of them, "An El Pollo Loco. I know how food service works and I've already memorized the entire menu! I know every single word on there. If you really don't trust me, You can just sit there and watch me and tell me where things are!" Shawn exclaimed stepping back and looking between the two people. Ned and Olive exchanged glances.

"How can you have the entire menu memorized. You've only been in here for about twenty minutes." Olive asked. Shawn smiled at her.

"I've got an eidetic memory! A photographic memory." He explained further, noting the twos confused gazes. They both made little ohhing noises, but Ned remained unconvinced.

"I don't know. I can't let just anyone handle peoples food and-" Shawn cut him off and reached into his back pocket so he could show them his food handlers card,

"That's the great thing! Im not _just _anyone. I have a food handlers card and everything. I told you, I worked at EL Pollo loco. And let me tell you. That place was truly loco. And, this is what hiring people is all about! Everyone is just some random stranger from off the street. At least until you hire them! Soo what do you say? Surely you don't want to go out there and deal with a bunch of hungry, grumpy people who have been waiting on their pie for a really long time. Do you?" He looked at Ned with raised eyebrows."

"Well. No. But-"

"And surely you wouldn't have Ms. Olive here go back out there on a sprained possibly _broken_ ankle. Would you?" Shawn interjected

"Broken?" Olive said indignantly. Her foot was most certainly not broken. Shawn ignored her.

"No but-" Ned was cut off again.

"Then let me go out there, sling some coffee, clean up some messes, and toss around some pie! It will be fine. I've done this kind of stuff before. Besides between you and me, I need another job. Like I said, I've been traveling the country and I'm pretty much out of money." Shawn made a fartty noise with his mouth.

"Kaput. Completely out of cash. Its not like I'm just some weird good samaristan off of the street! I was really looking for a job as well! I figure its a little unconventional, but why cant this be a job interview!?" Shawn paused and waited, watching the pie makers face. He smiled to himself, when he saw Ned's face relax slightly in acceptance.

"All right fine. Aprons are over there. Wash your hands and ask Olive if you need anything." Ned sighed and wandered over to a fridge in the corner of the room. Shawn watched him carefully, but the only thing that the pie maker pulled from the fridge was a bowl of ripe, fresh mangoes.

* * *

It had been two weeks since Shawn had come to the pie hole and had knocked poor Olive Snook over. And in that time Ned had noticed that the strange man seemed very keen on learning the way of pie making. Ned always found himself standing in the kitchen rolling out dough in peace and quiet only to have Shawn suddenly spring up out of nowhere and watch him with rapt attention. It was a little unnerving, but Ned attempted to shrug it off, feeling that he shouldn't turn away a fellow pie enthusiast. Then again, he had an odd feeling that Shawn's attention went deeper than simple pie making.

"So. You really like making pies huh?" Shawn asked one day staring down at the bowl of fresh blueberries like the fruit was going to jump up and attack him. Ned nodded.

"Yeah. Reminds me of home." Ned offered, covering a pie with a thin crust and moving it to the oven. Shawn nodded at him.

"Ah. I try not to do things that remind me of home." Shawn supplied watching Ned adjust the timer on the oven. Ned turned back to look at him.

"Is that why you've been traveling?" The pie maker asked, wiping his hands on his apron. Shawn smiled.

"Yuparoonie!" Shawn turned his head when he heard the bell ding in the front. He looked at Ned and then shrugged before heading out to serve the newest customers. While he was gone, Ned reached under the counter and pulled out a bowl of rotting blueberries. Bringing them all back to live quickly he proceeded to make pie with them.

The pie maker considered the enigma that was Shawn Spencer. The man was absolutely obsessed with the pineapple pie that Ned had created not too long ago, and he talked more then anyone Ned had ever met. Not only that, but Shawn seemed to notice everything. Ned frowned as he thought about that particular trait. He had brought it up with Shawn once and all he had gotten was an aloof wave of the hand and a dismissive,

"That's all my dads fault." Ned understood the reluctance to talk about father figures, but still. It was uncanny.

Line Break

Four weeks later and Shawn still hadn't found a reasonable explanation for what he had seen Ned the pie maker do with the strawberry on the first day in the pie Hole. Four weeks and Shawn was starting to grow very attached to Ned the pie maker and Olive Snook the Waitress. The two people were quirky and odd, but Shawn felt like he could make a real friendship with the strange people. It was making him slightly antsy, and he knew if he didn't solve this fresh fruit phenomenon soon, then he would just have to leave without ever knowing the answer. It was close to closing and Shawn found himself, once again mingling about in the kitchen, watching as Ned baked pies.

"Do you want a slice?" Ned asked, offering Shawn a piece of Perfectly Prepared Pineapple pie. Shawn took the offered slice and after searching around for a fork, dug in. As he chewed silently he watched Ned make pies. Thoughts of strawberries dancing through his mind.

"Hey Ned." Shawn asked through a mouth full of pineapple deliciousness. Ned made a humming noise, focused on his own pie making. "How come you never eat your own pies?" Shawn asked, swallowing his food. Ned shrugged a shoulder, but Shawn could see it, there was something being concealed in Ned's face. A lie that Ned didn't want being brought to life. Shawn wondered if it had anything to the suddenly ripe strawberry he had seen nearly a month ago.

"I-I just don't really want too. I'm around pie all the time. I cant really eat it every day." Ned commented. Shawn picked up on the stutter that had gone away about a week after getting to know the nervous pie maker.

"Yeah, but you like, never eat your own pies." Shawn pushed. Ned shrugged again, this time turning to face Shawn.

"Why do you always eat pineapple?" Ned asked. Shawn watched as the pie maker clasped his hands behind his back and stared straight ahead at Shawn. Shawn frowned, he knew Ned had officially closed up. Shawn smiled at the thought though, since people only tended to close up when they had something to hide.

* * *

Ned sat at one of the booths, Shawn sitting across from him. The day had been painfully slow and Shawn had agreed to take Olives shift, so both Shawn and Ned had been stuck in an empty store all day with nothing to do but chit chat. As Olive always put it. Shawn munched on a slice of Perfectly Prepared Pineapple pie and sipped at coffee, while Ned, similarly drank his own cup of coffee. The pie maker watched as Shawn examined the pie in front of him. Shawn had a strange obsession with pineapple that the pie maker couldn't quiet figure out. In the five weeks that he had suddenly appeared, pineapple pie was the only flavor that he ate. The pie maker watched Shawn silently. Shawn usually filled the silences with question after question, story after story, but today he seemed quiet and it was slightly unnerving. Looking out the window Ned noticed Shawn's bike parked in front of the pie Hole. He knew very little about motorcycles.

"Why do you drive a motorcycle?" Ned asked. More for a topic of conversation than anything else. In his experience people who owned motorcycles usually loved talking about motorcycles. The pie maker hoped to get Shawn talking about something because there seemed to be something on Shawn's mind, weighing him down. As he predicted, Shawn lit up at the chosen topic of conversation.

"Why?" He asked looking out the window dreamily. "Because a motorcycle is freedom Ned. Its exhilarating! The way you feel with the wind whipping around you, the engine blocking out all sounds. Its so peaceful. No attachments, nothing to worry about, just you and the road and endless possibilities. Endless new things to try and experience. Motorcycles are dangerous and-" Shawn looked over at Ned.

"And?" Ned prompted, taking a sip of his coffee.

"And they look cool Ned! You should totally get one." Shawn laughed and leaned in close to Ned. "Besides, when you have a motorcycle, no one ever asks you to help them move." Shawn laughed and looked back out the window. Ned watched Shawn's face. Shawn was very smart, he was also very observant and there always seemed to be an inquisitive curiosity behind his eyes. Sometimes it was slightly unnerving how quickly Shawn managed to pick up on things.

Though, he was smart, he wasn't the only one able to read other people. And after a month of knowing the man, Ned was able to detect something new in his friends face. It was hard to pinpoint exactly what it was, but Ned worried that the emotion was restlessness. The talk of freedom and the open road had Ned wondering just how long Shawn would stick around. Before he had a chance to ask though, Shawn switched gears and brought up one of his friends from Santa Barbara, someone named Gus.

Ned smiled slightly, content to listen to his friends story.

* * *

Seven weeks later and Shawn was really starting to get desperate. He Ned and Olive had become close friends and the fact that Shawn was attempting to pry into Ned's personal life and find out some secret that the pie maker obviously didn't want exposed was starting to make Shawn feel more that slightly guilty. He cursed himself for staying so long. This was how things always started. They started off fun and light but whenever he stayed in a place for too long they became personal and Shawn couldn't help but feel attached.

Walking through the pie hole doors that night at six pm to begin his shift, Shawn made an important decision. Waving goodbye to Olive as she switched shifts with him, Shawn headed to the back of the kitchen. He was going to have to break the news to Ned. He decided that he was going to leave next week and continue on with his journey to see the county.

Heading to the back kitchen Shawn called out.

"Ned, I have something I need to talk to you about." Shawn froze at the sight the greeted him. He had walked in at just the right moment, just as the moldy brown and oozy apple in Ned's hand changed and reshaped itself into a crisp red ripe fruit.

A look of abject terror froze itself on Ned's face. Shawn couldn't help himself, despite the fact that some strange magic trick he had seen nearly two months ago was happening again, right in front of his eyes, he laughed. He laughed at the irony of making the decision to let something go for the sake of his friendship with a nervous pie maker, only to finally of stumbled upon said secret. Laughter was obviously not the reaction Ned had been expecting. The pie maker dropped the apple as if it had bitten him and folded his hands behind his back, as if that could hide all evidence.

"Shawn!" Ned gasped and looked down at the apple on the ground then back up to Shawn's face. Shawn was slightly panicking. He hand hopped that the incident with the strawberry had simply been some weird fluke. It seemed though, that it had not been. Instead it had been real.

Very real and very magical and very illogical.

Shawn was not one for magic and ghosts and unexplainable incidents. So, he laughed. He laughed at his own confusion and at the fact that he had almost got away without being exposed to something so strange. Calming down slightly, Shawn looked up at Ned's horrified face. The pie maker looked like he was about to vomit, he was literally turning green.

"Dude. I saw you do that to a strawberry like two months ago." Shawn explained, lifting his hands in what he hoped was a placating manner. Ned looked like he wanted to run out the back door, or run to the sink and vomit. Either way, the fear sobered Shawn, he didn't think everything was quiet as funny anymore. He wondered if Ned thought Shawn would do something awful now that he knew the truth. The fear made a pang of hurt shoot through Shawn.

"Seriously Ned. Calm down." Shawn remained in place, hoping that Ned would stop looking so fearful. Finally Ned swallowed thickly.

"I-I can explain. The pie maker started. Shawn wanted to know. He wanted to know more than anything else in the whole world. Well, more than a lot of things in the world. He wanted to know how what Ned did was possible, and yet he was able to clearly see the fear that had wedged itself in between Ned's permanently worried eyebrows. Ned was terrified, more terrified then Shawn could even comprehend because Shawn had never felt such sheer horror. Shawn wasn't sure what had Ned so scared, but then again Shawn didn't have mysterious powers. So, shaking his head, Shawn did the only thing he could think of to make the terrified look on Ned's face go away, he stepped forward and lifted up a hand.

"Don't worry man. I wont tell, hell, I wont even ask." Shawn wanted to take the words back, he wanted to pull them right out of the air and stomp all over them.

He wanted to _know_ damn it.

Even though the desire to solve this mystery was burning like a fire in his chest, he knew he had made the right choice when Ned's shoulders relaxed and those permanently worried eyebrows relaxed ever so slightly. The fear was still there, the worry that Shawn was lying, but Shawn plowed ahead, hoping to ease the mood.

"I came in here to tell you, that I'll be leaving in a week." Shawn announced. Though he felt his mouth making his big announcement his mind was still on that damn apple. That damn apple, which had rolled over to Shawn's shoe. Bending over and picking it up Shawn examined it, and the fear was back in full force on Ned's face.

"Is it because of-" Ned looked at the apple in Shawn's hand, but even as the pie maker said it, he knew it wasn't the case. He could tell, had been able to see for almost a week now that Shawn was getting restless. Shawn shook his head.

"Nah man. Its just time. I gotta go." He tossed the apple to Ned and without thinking, Ned reached out and caught the fruit, which instantly rotted in his hands. Ned's head snapped up to look at Shawn who was staring at the apple with wide eyes. Ned could see the thoughts behind Shawn's eyes racing through his brain. Shawn was no doubt thinking back on every experience he had ever had, every piece of knowledge he had ever acquired in an attempt to explain what he had just seen. Ned knew it was useless though, because no matter how smart Shawn was, there was no explanation for what Ned could do. Ned wondered if Shawn would demand answers now. Instead Shawn reached up and placed a hand on his mouth, running down his face.

"So." He cleared his throat, by god he wanted to ask Ned how he did that. He wanted to ask it so bad, but still the fear on Ned's face was clear as day and Shawn just couldn't bring himself to force Ned to talk. Before either one of the two men could make a move though, there was a sudden loud bang. Both men whipped around towards the source, the front door, and watched as a man in a mask stepped through the shattered glass.


	3. Bang Bang You're Dead

Chapter 3: Bang Bang You're Dead

* * *

They were being robbed. Shawn had just seen Ned's big secret first hand and declared he was going to be leaving. But, before the two of them could discuss anything further some THUG decided to break in five minutes after closing. Shawn felt like an opportunity had been stolen from right underneath him. Maybe Ned would have divulged his secrets, maybe he would of explained the impossible things that Shawn had witnessed. Not now though, now the moment was gone and Shawn knew that once this was all over, Ned would close up, maybe even think of some clever lie to tell Shawn and then Shawn would leave and they would never see each other again. Of course, that was only if they made it out of this situation unharmed. Shawn eyed the man stepping through the shattered glass door, the man held a small pistol in his hand. Shawn was standing in the doorway to the kitchen. Ned had been standing off to the side, just out of sight of the burglar. As such, the only thing the masked man saw, was a wide eyed looking Shawn.

"Hands up!" The thief barked suddenly, stumbling into the shop. Glass crunched under the thieves feet and Shawn noticed how the mans hands shook. Shawn raised his hands slowly.

"Easy man. See here, look. Hands are up." Shawn shifted on his feet, he wondered what Ned was doing behind him, but hopped that his friend had enough sense to stay hidden. Maybe think if a plan to save the two of them.

"D-Don't move!" the thief's hands shook more violently and Shawn detected a slight slur in the mans speech. He wondered if the thief was drunk or on drugs. Shawn swallowed, he certainly hopped not. A junkie looking for a fix was not someone to be reasoned with.

"Hey, hey. I'm right here. Its not like I'm about to run and_ hide. _Or anything." Shawn directed the last part at Ned, hoping that the pie maker could detect Shawn's change of tone. Fortunately, Shawn heard some shuffling noise and assumed Ned had headed his advice. The thief didn't seem to notice anything amiss.

"W-w-whatever m-m-an. Get over here and open that register!" The thief gestured towards the cash register with his gun. Shawn complied and walked closer to the thief so that he was out of the kitchen, he didn't walk to the register though. Instead he attempted to reason with the intruder.

"There's nothing in there. We empty out the register and count the money every night just before closing." Shawn explained with a vain hope that the thief would give up and go away.

"Yeah..." The thief nodded his head, "Yeah we did that at the sandwich place I worked in." He grumbled something to himself and brought a shaking hand up to his masked face.

"Why don't you just put the gun away. We can talk about this. No one needs to get in trouble. Its not too late." Shawn lowered his hands slightly, trying to calm the man. The thief shook his head.

"We-we put it all in a safe. On f-fridays, the boss would come and-come and get it. Get the money. A-A weeks. A whole weeks worth." The thief looked around the restaurant and Shawn got the feeling that no amount of talking he did would get through to the thief. It seemed like the man had lost himself in his own thoughts. Shawn took a step forward. Maybe if he got close enough he could disarm the man.

"Yeah. Lots of places haves safes. Robbing restaurants isn't very lucrative. You haven't done anything wrong yet. You wont be in any trouble, no one will come looking for you if you just drop the gun." Shawn took another step forward, and the man glanced up at Shawn.

"Lots of places." the man said. Shawn tilted his head, uncertain. There was an odd tone in the mans voice.

"Lots of places what?" Shawn asked.

"There's a safe somewhere here." The thief continued, once again losing himself in his own thoughts. Shawn saw the mans hand stop shaking and tighten on the gun. He swallowed thickly, knowing that the man had decided on his next course of action. Shawn tried to speak quickly,

"Wait! You-" The feeling of his ribs all being crushed and the loud bang happened at exactly the same time. At least, that's what it felt like. Shawn tumbled to the ground, falling on his back. He stared up at the ceiling, his breath wheezing out of him. He was aware of his arm moving up to feel at the spot on his chest where the bullet had entered, but he couldn't feel his arm move. He felt a strange cold sensation spreading out from the bullet wound and seeping into the rest of his body. The thief staggered over to Shawn's supine form. Shawn looked up at the man, his vision blurring and wavering.

"I don't need you to find a safe." The man explained, lifting up the gun again and aiming it at Shawn's face. Shawn stared, unable to move as the man shot him in the head.

* * *

Ned crouched down under the pie making table in the middle of his kitchen. Well, it probably wasn't called the pie making table, it was probably called an island or some other thing that Ned couldn't quiet remember, but it provide an adequate hiding place for the moment. Ned huffed out a nervous breath. He listening to Shawn talk to the thief. He wondered how his employee could sound so calm and collected. Shawn made it seem like this guy really could walk away with no repercussions. If only he would drop the gun. Ned bit his lip. He had almost explained to Shawn how his ability worked, he had been so close to letting someone else in on the secret.

Ned couldn't tell if the burglar had very good or very bad timing.

Ned pushed the thoughts away, now was no time to be thinking about that. His friend was being held at gun point and Ned had to do something about it. If only there was some kind of weapon he could get a hold of. Ned's eyes settled on a set of knifes tucked away safely under the pie making island. He wanted to smack himself. Of course there were knives. This was his kitchen after all. Reaching forward, Ned grabbed a big butcher knife and held it in his hand. He wasn't sure what Shawn wanted him to do from his hiding place, but should the opportunity present itself, the pie maker was determined to do something. Even if he didn't exactly know what that something was. Ned heard the thief speak again,

"There's a safe here somewhere." The mans voice sounded strange. Like he was drunk. Ned turned his head and looked behind himself. They kept their safe in the back store room, with all the moldy fruit. Which meant that the burglar would no doubt be making his way into the kitchen. Ned devised a plan. He would wait for Shawn to lead the burglar into the back and just as they walked around the island, Ned decided he would spring up and hit the man in the head with the handle of the Knife. It was as good a plan as any and Ned steeled himself, waiting. Only the next sound the pie maker heard was Shawn's panic stricken voice,

"Wait! You-" And then there was a heart stopping bang and a terrible thump and it was all Ned could do to keep himself from jumping up and looking out into his restaurant. Thoughts raced through Ned's mind.

_Maybe he missed, maybe Shawn's still alive, maybe it was a misfire? _

Ned listened carefully, he could hear a watery breathing noise. His hand tightened around his own mouth at the noise. It was Shawn, Shawn was breathing weakly on his floor. Shawn had been shot. Ned gripped the knife tightly in his hnad, his knuckles turning white. All plans for attack had left his mind, his thoughts repeating,

Oh god-_Oh god-oh god! _as Ned listened in horror to the sound of shuffling foot steps.

"I don't need you to find a safe." the man sounded indifferent and then there was another loud bang that had Ned jumping so bad he nearly fell over. Ned squeezed his eyes shut, he felt all the blood rush out of his head and leave nothing but a loud ringing noise. Shawn had just been murdered, right in his shop. Shot twice while Ned had just sat in the kitchen and hid like a coward. Opening his eyes, Ned listened for the sound of Shawn's wheezing breath, but was horror struck to hear nothing but the sound of someone trashing his store. No doubt the thief was searching for the safe. Ned sniffed quietly and waited behind the island. His hands tightened on the knife once more and he waited.

The burglar would not get away with what he had done.

It took a few more minutes of banging around out front before the man finally managed to make his way to the kitchen. Ned shuffled to the far end of the island and hid, waiting for the guy to walk by. The thief was heading straight for the food pantry when Ned got an idea. Just as the man pulled open the door and stepped inside, Ned sprang to his feet and rushed forward. He usually left the pantry open at night while he was cleaning up around him, which was why the normally padlocked door was sitting wide open. Which gave Ned the perfect opportunity to rush forward, slam the door and lock it tightly. As soon as the door shut, the thief started yelling and banging on the door.

"Hey! HEY! Let me out! Whose there! Whose out there!" The man screeched angrily and pounded his fists against the metal door. Ned stepped back, there were no windows in the storage room and the only way out was through the pad locked door. The pie maker knew he needed to call the police, he also knew that Shawn was dead, but still, he couldn't stop himself from spinning on his heel and running out to the lobby. Shawn lay completely still sitting in a pool of his own blood. Ned knelt down next to him, his hands hovering over Shawn's body.

He couldn't even check for a pulse.

"Shawn." Ned noticed the bullet wound near Shawn's heart. He also noticed the bullet wound near the top of Shawn's skull. Ned felt his throat close up, he couldn't breath. Shawn was the first dead person he had seen since his mother had died in front of him that fateful day so long ago. And as Ned knelt in the dark of his restaurant, a cold wind blowing through the shattered front door and Shawn's blood seeping into his pant legs, he felt himself suddenly over come with grief. Ned didn't make friends, he had Olive, and he had Shawn and he had his pies and that was all he had. He stared down at Shawn's blood covered face, ignoring the screams from the man locked in his pantry and Ned the pie maker did something he hadn't done in many many years.

He reached forward and brought a human back to life.


	4. Shawn of the Dead

Chapter 4: Shawn Of The Dead

* * *

Shawn's eyes were half lidded as he gazed up at the drug addict looming over him. He had fallen onto his back and after his initial movement, he had lost all mobility. His fingers twitched slightly as the man lifted his gun. The man must of said something, but all the sounds around Shawn were muffled. There was blackness creeping into his vision and there was darkness filling his ears. Everything was fading away, Shawn felt himself becoming less aware of his surroundings. The last thing he saw was a bright flash and then nothing.

* * *

Ned's face.

Worried eyebrows, mouth moving

no sounds.

Shawn hadn't opened his eyes, there had been no darkness before this, he hadn't been asleep. There was just suddenly Ned's face. Shawn sat up quickly and Ned scrambled backwards with frantic motions. Sound returned suddenly.

"Ned? Where's the burglar?" Shawn asked looking around. Ned nodded his head towards the back and Shawn took note of the muffled yelling and screaming.

"Locked in the pantry." Ned's voice was hoarse. Shawn blinked a few times, it felt like he had been sleeping for a really long time, he was tired.

"What happened? Why am I..." Shawn looked down at himself, he was slowly starting to regain feeling in his body and he had just now realized that he was pretty much soaked in his own blood. At least he assumed it was his own blood, if the still bleeding hole above his heart was anything to judge by. Despite the disturbing observation, Shawn didn't feel overly concerned.

"Ned?" Shawn looked up at the pie maker, more curious about the blood than worried.

"How do you feel?" Ned asked staring at Shawn, clearly worried. Shawn paused and considered the question. He felt strange, like he wasn't really sitting in the pie hole, he felt like he was dreaming and was about to wake up.

"I feel...tired. What happened?" Shawn asked reaching up and touching his forehead. His hand came away sticky with blood. Shawn shrugged it off, unconcerned. Ned glanced down at his wrist and then back up at Shawn.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't let you die. I don't..." Ned trailed off. He didn't really know why he had felt such an overwhelming desire to save Shawn, but he had felt it. And had acted on it.

"Let me die?" Shawn paused when the screaming from the back suddenly stopped. There was a soft thump and Shawn was suddenly over come with fatigue. He groaned and dropped his head, staring at the blood surrounding him. His breath caught. Blood. His blood. He was sitting in a pool of his own _blood_. There were two bullet holes in him. Shawn sprang to his feet, almost losing his balance as his feet slipped through the enormous puddle. Ignoring the rush of dizziness the threatened to send him toppling down, He stabilized himself and stared straight ahead, his arms stretched out at his side for balance. There was a bullet hole in his head and there was a fatal amount of blood on the ground and yet, Shawn was fine. Standing tall, a little dizzy, but defiantly alive and fine.

"What the _FUCK_?" Shawn stumbled away from the pool and into one of the bar stools. His blood smearing on everything. Ned stood up as well, his hands clasped behind his back.

"Shawn I-" Ned started, but Shawn cut him off, suddenly everything was very real and very confusing and he was very concerned.

"What the fuck Ned! What the hell? What happened?!" Shawn fisted both hands in his hair and began to hyperventilate. Whatever had happened to him it was all connected to what Ned had done with the fruit nearly two months ago. It was obviously connected. Shawn thought back to the last thing he remembered. He remembered getting shot in the head. Shawn shook himself. Cursing his eidetic memory. That was once memory he did not want. He pushed away from the stool, the fact that he could remember getting shot was overwhelming him. How could he remember being _shot in the head? _Shawn moved back to the stool and sat down, he didn't know what to do with himself. His chest felt tight, he couldn't _breath, _he had been shot in the chest and now he couldn't breath. Maybe he wasn't okay? Maybe he was going to die now. Shawn sucked in a wheezy breath of air and realized that Ned was talking.

"-Calm okay? I'll explain everything. Just stop freaking out. You look like you're going to puke and I really don't think we should add vomit to the list of things that we're going to have to clean up tonight because that would be really horrible and gross and-" Ned cut off suddenly when he noticed that Shawn was staring at him.

"Ned?" Shawn didn't know what to ask, so he just looked at Ned pleadingly, he needed answers now, the time for not prying was over. Ned hung his head and walked to where Shawn was sitting. Shawn watched the pie maker sit one stool away from him. Shawn frowned at this, but didn't say anything.

"I can bring things back from the dead." Ned started and Shawn would of laughed, if he didn't clearly remember being shot in the head and killed. So instead, Shawn stayed quiet. "The rules are pretty straight forward. First touch life, second touch dead forever." Ned began. Looking down at the table. He looked worried. Shawn took a deep breath and the two were quiet for nearly a full minute as Shawn tried to process.

"So, if you touch me now?" Shawn cleared his throat, his head light. He had never believed in magic or ghosts or monsters or anything supernatural, and with this one night everything he thought he knew was being flipped around.

"You would die again. Forever." Ned looked over at Shawn and then away quickly. Shawn supposed he looked pretty gruesome, covered in blood and bullet wounds.

"Wait. How can I stay alive if I've been shot? Wouldn't I just bleed out again?" Shawn lifted up his shirt and stared down at where the bullet hole had been. _Had been_, being the key words. All that was left now was a little scar.

"They went away after the minute was up. I've never brought a shot person back to life, but I saw the bullet hole on your head close up after the minute." Ned explained. Shawn picked up on the odd wording.

"What do you mean _the _minute?" He asked. Ned looked down, cradling his head in his hands.

"There's two rules. First touch life, second touch dead forever and..." He trailed off.

"And what?" Shawn prompted, the store eerily quiet.

"And If I keep someone alive for longer than a minute, someone else has to die in their place." Ned said the last part quietly, a haunted look in his eyes. Shawn wondered about it briefly before something clicked in his mind. The silence.

"The burglar." Shawn fell silent. Ned had let the burglar die to give Shawn life. Shawn didn't know how he felt about that.

"He's dead." Ned mumbled in conformation. Shawn nodded and didn't say anything. There was another bloated silence, this time it lasted for at least five minutes until Shawn shook himself and stood up slowly. He glanced over at a miserable looking Ned and realized that this man, his friend, had saved him. It may have been through some magical power that Shawn did not understand, and someone else had died and that was a fact that Shawn couldn't really bring himself to dwell on at the moment. Instead Shawn thought about how he was alive and it was all thanks to the pie maker. Shawn also knew, that Ned would want to keep everything that had just happened, magical power included, a secret.

"Stand up Ned." Shawn turned and looked around the room. Ned did as he was bid and stood.

"What?" Ned looked around as well.

"We need to clean up my blood. All of it. Then we need to call the police and tell them that a masked man broke into your store." Shawn headed for the kitchen, looking for the cleaning supplies he would need.

"The police?" Ned followed after Shawn, watching as he dug through the cleaning supplies.

"Yup. We're going to tell them that me and you were in the back, cleaning up when that man broke in. We both hid in the kitchen, behind this island. The man started messing with things and you eventually locked him in the pantry. You'll tell the police that the man just suddenly went quiet a couple minutes ago and you don't know what hes doing but you need them to come help." Shawn laid out their plan.

"Okay?" Ned started and fumbled with a bottle of bleach that Shawn tossed him.

"We need to hurry though Ned. The longer we wait the worse off we'll be, if they do an autopsy they'll realize that we waited a suspiciously long time to call them."

"Right." Ned looked slightly confused, but Shawn didn't have time to make sure he was keeping up. There was a lot his father had taught him when he was a child, and through those teachings, Shawn was capable of making up a crime scene. He knew what the police would look for, and what they wouldn't look for.

"Were going to just have to do a really quick sweep. Once they come and get the body they'll probably take him back and do an autopsy. If they find anything weird they may come back and look around your store. That's why, right after the police leave we have to make sure that all traces of my blood are gone. Even things we can see under a light. All right?" Shawn pulled out a mop and bucket and headed over to the pool of blood on the ground. Shawn hesitated as he gazed down at it. Ned followed quietly, his own mop and bucket in hand.

"Your dad teach you how to hide evidence?" Ned asked, keeping a safe distance from Shawn. Shawn 's laugh was strained,

"He taught me how other people hide evidence. That way I'd know what to look for." Shawn sighed slapped the mop right in the middle of the puddle of blood. A determined look on his face. Ned took notice of the sudden silence.

"Are-are you going to be okay?" Ned asked, because Shawn looked pale, and Ned didn't exactly like the way that Shawn had so suddenly brushed his re-alive state off. Shawn didn't pause in mopping up his own blood.

"Yeah. Well. I think so." Shawn didn't know if he was okay. What had just happened was a lot to take in and Shawn felt a strong urge to step out the broken glass door and run away into the night. He resisted the urge though, because he knew that he would be gone in a week and once he left he would be able to push this entire unexplainable event down to the deep dark recesses of his mind and never think about it again. That and, Ned was his friend, and Shawn couldn't just abandon him after the guy had technically killed a man for him. Shawn noticed Ned in his peripheral. The pie maker was standing completely still. Shawn looked up at Ned, there was a look of true terror on the pie makers face again, the same look that had been there when Shawn had caught Ned making the apple ripe. Bringing it back to life, Shawn realized.

"Are _you _okay?" Shawn asked. Ned glanced up at Shawn quickly then back down at the shrinking puddle of blood.

"No one's ever known." Ned mumbled.

"Known about you and the whole bringing things back to life thing?" Shawn asked.

"Yeah. I figured that once someone knew, then there would be a lot more..." Ned paused, mopping the ground furiously. Shawn waited patiently. "...More, yelling and screaming and men in black suits taking me away to be experimented on." Ned confided, his voice low. Shawn frowned, his own mop stilling.

"You think I'd tell?" Shawn asked, picking up the pace of his mopping. The puddle was almost gone. Ned shrugged.

"I always assumed that someone finding out would be worst case scenario and that my life would be over once my secret got out." Ned explained. Shawn smiled slightly.

"Ned, you are such a worryier. I'm not gunna tell anyone about your magic ability to bring people back from the dead. It can be our little secret." Shawn's smile grew, attempting to make a dark situation a little lighter. When Ned didn't seem to relax at all Shawn's s smile slowly faded and he turned his attention back to the floor,

"What we're really gunna have to worry about now is neither one of us accidentally bumping into each other and killing me." Shawn sighed, changing the subject and resuming his moping. Ned nodded his head, but didn't say anything. Soon the two men fell back into a slightly awkward silence. Each person lost in their own thoughts.

* * *

After they had finished cleaning up Shawn's split blood, Shawn had run upstairs and had grabbed some new cloths for the pair of the them. While he was upstairs Ned finally called the police. He recited Shawn's story and was told that the police would be there as soon as they could. Shawn had rushed back down to the Pie Hole just as Ned was hanging up the phone. He had managed to rinse off the blood from his face and out of his hair and had thrown on some of Ned's cloths. Shawn had to roll up the sleeves and legs of Ned's cloths as the Pie maker was considerable taller than Shawn. Once he made the cloths look normal, Shawn had brought down a change of cloths for Ned as well. Ned had changed his pants and Shawn had taken the bloodied cloths and hid them away. The police had arrived shortly after and had found the dead body of the their robber in the storage room. There was some loose questions and some lax investigating. The corner was called in and the body sent out to have an autopsy done. All in all none of the police suspected foul play and had left Ned and Shawn alone after a couple hours. As soon as they were gone, Shawn got to work cleaning up all traces of blood while Ned properly disposed of their bloody cloths. It was three in the morning by the time the two were done with everything and Shawn slumped in one of the bar stools next to an exhausted looking Ned.

"They'll probably come back. But now there's nothing to suggest I was shot and killed earlier." Shawn began, reaching out to pat Ned on the back. He caught himself and lowered his hand. Ned watched Shawn wearily.

"Second touch dead forever." Ned reminded him. Shawn nodded and waved his hand.

"Yeah yeah." He looked over at Ned sadly. "How did you find out?" He asked. Shawn knew that the only way Ned could of found out about his powers and their rules was if he had brought something back and then killed it again. Ned looked away from Shawn and down at the table sadly.

"My mother. She died when I was young. I touched her and brought her back." He glanced over at Shawn, the sad look never leaving his face. "She went to kiss me goodnight later that day and I killed her again." Ned stated it simply and Shawn felt a pang of sympathy.

"Dude-" Shawn started but Ned waved a dismissive hand.

"After that I did a lot of experimenting with bugs, and flowers. I eventually figured it all out." Ned explained. Shawn thought for a moment.

"What happens if you eat meat then?" Shawn asked suddenly. Ned made a face.

"It goes raw." Ned said. Shawn gawked at him.

"It comes back to life? What about like, leather and your cloths and stuff?!" Shawn asked. Ned sighed, what he could and couldn't bring back to life was something he had considered for a very long time.

"I don't know. Its weird, as long as something hasn't been processed or altered from its original state too much, then I can usually bring it back." Ned explained, though he sounded uncertain.

"That doesn't really make sense." Shawn amended. Ned nodded his head in agreement.

"Yeah. Its like... steak is just cow flesh. Where as leather is something completely different, it was originally a cow, but its been tanned and changed with chemicals and it becomes something completely different. At least, that's how I think it works. The dead thing cant be too far removed from what it had been originally. I suppose" Ned gave a shrug, it was all just speculation. He really didn't know. But then again Shawn supposed magic wasn't supposed to have understandable answers. Shawn laughed to himself, he never thought he'd see the day when he credited magic as an explanation for something.

"Are you really going to leave in a week?" Ned suddenly asked. It felt strange to Shawn to bring up something as mundane as him leaving after all that had happened. Shawn nodded though,

"Yeah. I thought that maybe it was time for me to go. Since I've been on the road this is the longest I've ever stayed in one place." Shawn admitted, rubbing the completely healed bullet wound on his chest. Ned eyed him skeptically.

"It's only been two months. How long do you normally stay in a place?" The pie maker asked. Shawn thought for a moment.

"Oh about two weeks. Just long enough to get a job, get some money and move out! Its awesome." Shawn moved his hand up to his forehead and felt the top of his head, where the other bullet had gone through him. "Can you see the scar?" Shawn asked, tilting his head downwards for Ned to examine. Ned looked closely.

"Only if you're really looking, but otherwise its covered by your hair." Ned leaned away from Shawn, still weary of touching him accidentally. Shawn looked put out by the news.

"Man." he made a tsking noise and reached up to poke at his head some more.

"You _want _ people to see the scar?" Ned asked. Shawn smiled and raised an eyebrow.

"Ladies dig scars, Pie maker."

* * *

_So, there was a lot of explaining of powers in this chapter. I made up a lot of stuff. Like, how dead people can be brought back from the dead and STAY alive. There are times in the show when Ned brings back someone whose like missing half their head and the dead persons just like cool with it. So, I made up some explinations both for the attitude and for how they could survive after missing half their head. Also, the meat thing. I think it was hinted at in the show that Ned cant eat meat becuse it turns raw on him? which opens up a whole new set of his powers which confused me. So I tried coming up with an explination for what exactly can come back and what cant. _

_I dont know guys. Hit me up with a review and add in your theories about Neds powers because they honestly just make no sense. _

_anyway, I have the next chapter all typed up. I just need to proof read it and I'll send it your way if I get time next week!_


	5. Pie With A Side Of- Murder?

Next chapter! Yay! We're going to switch timframes. We are now in season 5 of Psych and we are on the last season of pushing daisies. Excluding the last episode of course! The previous chapters were just flashbacks. We're gunna stay in this timeframe from now onwards!

* * *

Lassiter pulled up to the crime scene, his partner in the seat next to him. Parking his beloved car, the head detective got out and headed over to one of the rookie officers standing by the crime scene tape.

"What happened?" the detective snapped at the woman. She was stocky and blond and her face was as closed off and serious as Carlton's.

"Mrs. Haywood Wooderson of Would be gone Roadkill called 911 one hour and seven minutes ago. She reports that she got a call to pick up some roadkill. She arrived on the scene. It wasn't roadkill." The rookie officer nodded over at a woman in overalls and long yellow gloves who was talking with another officer. Lassiter noticed the woman's truck parked a few feet away. There was a picture of a raccoon sitting happily on a shovel. There was a slogan under the shovel that said, _Your roadkill would be gone if you would call; Would be Gone!_ Lassiter looked down at the body sitting on the side of the road, it had been tossed in a way that had it half hidden in the slightly sloping ditch, yet still partially visible to traffic.

"Whats his story?" Lassiter asked looking down at the dead body.

"Bruising on the head. Corner speculates the weapon was probably a pipe or something similar. Strange white substance found in hair." She paused and pointed to his hands, "And on his hands." Carlton glanced over at Juliet who was listening with slightly furrowed brows.

"Name?" Carlton asked, returning his attention to the stocky woman.

"Wallet in back pocket empty except for drivers licenses. Mans name is, Fredrick Fields."

"Is a search being run?" Carlton asked.

"Yes sir." The woman nodded.

"Address on the Id?"

"7634 Winston Earl Way."

"City?"

"Couer d'Couer"

"Anything else?"

"There was also a Cellphone in his back pocket." She held up a little flip phone in a plastic bag.

"Good. Take it into evidence. Anything else?" Carlton asked.

"No Sir." The woman stared at him and waited to be dismissed. Carlton nodded at her and she nodded back before walking away. Juliet smiled, amused by her partner.

"That woman was a lot like you." she started, elbowing him in the ribs. Carlton glared at her.

"She was efficient O'hara. To the point. Just like she should be." Carlton harrumphed and bent down to get a closer look at the body. Juliet followed suit and they both attempted to find something of import.

"She could be the new lady in your life." Juliet teased, standing up and walking to the other side of the body. Frederick Fields was laying on his stomach, his legs facing the road, his head down the ditch. Carlton didn't rise to his partners teasing.

"The only lady in my life is Lady Justice." Lassiter said, his voice deadpanned. Juliet looked up at him, but couldn't tell if he was joking.

* * *

Shawn sat at his desk in the Psych office, he leaned back in his chair and eyed Gus who was sitting at his own desk, playing on his computer. Shawn sighed. Gus didn't react and Shawn tipped forward in his chair, planting his feat firmly on the ground. He sighed once again, this time louder. Still no reaction. Shawn frowned in slight irritation, Leaning forward the pseudo psychic planted his elbows on his table and sighed as loudly and dramatically as possible. He slumped forward on the desk, he arms dangling over the edge, his eyes glued on Gus, waiting for a reaction. Gus's eye twitched minutely and Shawn smirked when he noticed the slight tensing of his friends shoulders. Egged on, now that he knew he had an audience, Shawn smiled widely and flopped backwards in his chair. He leaned back as far as he could, the chair groaning as he put all of his weight on the back of it. Kicking his feet up onto the desk, Shawn sighed so loudly that the noise was more of a yell. Gus glanced over at him quickly then refocused on his computer screen.

"What Shawn?" He snapped clicking on something. Shawn flopped his head back. He didn't need to look at Gus, now that he knew he had his friends attention.

"Gus I'm-" Gus cut him off.

"Bored?" He finished for his friend.

"Yes! There's nothing to do!" Shawn huffed. Gus shrugged his shoulders.

"Tough. Why don't you go paint a picture." He offered. Shawn actually paused, taken back.

"Why, in the name of Cary Elwes would I ever want to go and paint a picture?" Shawn groused, making a face at the ceiling. Gus shrugged dismissively at him.

"I don't know." He didn't add anything more to the conversation, instead opting to focus all of his attention back onto his computer screen. Fed up with being ignored, Shawn dropped his feet to the ground and rolled away from his desk. Choosing to buy Wheely chairs had been the best decision of his life. No doubt. A thought which reinforced itself in his head when Shawn rolled around Gus's desk and crashed into his best friend. Sending the other man skidding away from the computer.

"Shawn!" Gus snapped scrambling to reach his laptop. Shawn sat in front of the screen, perplexed.

"What's Pottermore?" He asked reading the screen. There was a strange list informing Gus of all the books and supplies he would need to get before he went any further. Shawn whined dramatically when Gus pushed him away from the laptop.

"Its a Harry Potter thing Shawn. You wouldn't understand." Gus explained, closing the laptop quickly. Shawn tsked and looked away from Gus, wheeling back to his own desk.

"Man! So that stupid list I just saw was all made up Harry Potter stuff!?" Shawn asked pulling himself to his desk. Gus glared.

"Yes. So what." He snapped defensively. Shawn threw his feet back up onto his own desk, leaning back once more.

"Now I've got all _that _junk in my head forever." He grumbled.

"Well maybe you should have been minding your own business instead of bugging me." Gus said his voice going a pitch higher with pretend politeness. Shawn didn't look at him. Instead the pseudo psychic tilted his head backwards so that he was once again staring at the ceiling.

"I thought you were doing something _fun._" Shawn snapped back. Gus was about to open his mouth in response when suddenly their office phone rang. Springing to his feet, Shawn almost knocked all the knick-kacks off his desk table in an effort to get to it.

"Psych!" he nearly shouted into the phone. He loved saying Psych whenever people called. It was the chief on the other end however and she sounded frustrated.

"Spencer. We need you down at the station." she informed him. Shawn restrained himself from bouncing up and down.

"A case?" He asked excitedly. There was a pause, before the chief answered him.

"Sort of. Its..."The chief trailed off, there was a noise like she was trying to speak, but couldn't exactly find the right words to use. Shawn was getting suspicious.

"Chief?" he pursed his lips and looked over at Gus, who was watching with mild interest. His laptop was open again, and Shawn could see him clicking sporadically.

"It's a case of sorts. Not one we usually deal with. Lassiter and Juliet are out on something else right now and- look, if you can get this thing solved and off my plate, I'll let you in on what they're doing. For now, I need someone who can solve this quickly and get this woman out of my hair." The chief sounded exasperated.

"All right. Sure thing. Me and Gus'll be down their in a bit." Shawn promised.

"Good. I'll have more information for you when you get here." With that, there was a quiet click as the Chief hung up.

* * *

Shawn pushed open the station doors with exuberance. One of them bounced off the walls as he stormed in, looking around excitedly.

"Two cases Gus. You should be happy. That's _two_ pay checks. Of course one of those cases is probably going to be boring, BUT once we get that one out of the way, it's on to bigger and better things!" Shawn hadn't stopped talking since he had practically manhandled Gus into the drivers side of the blueberry.

"Yeah, bigger cases if you can solve this one quickly." Gus cut in. Shawn glanced over at him and tsked.

"Gus! Don't you remember that time when I solved the case of the stolen computers! That took like ten seconds! If this case is as small as that, then it'll be over and done with before you know it." Shawn exclaimed, marching over to the Chiefs office. Gus made a face.

"What computers? What are you talking about?" Shawn didn't answer, instead he barged right into Karen's office. He was extremely excited to be getting a new case. It had been weeks since they had been called upon, and while Shawn loved lazing about as much at the next guy, he also appreciated not going stir crazy in the Psych office.

"Spencer." The Chief's voice was mildly irritated and it sounded like there was a reprimand on the tip of her tongue, but instead of unleashing it she just shook her head and nodded at the little old lady sitting in the chair in front of her desk. Shawn examined the woman quickly, she was old, probably in her late eighties, reeked of perfume and was clutching a small white purse to her chest tightly as if someone was going to take it from her. Shawn mentally cataloged random details about her until he looked back up at the Chief. The old woman wasn't all that interesting, and judging by her fancy looking cloths and fingers covered in heavy rings, Shawn assumed that her reason for being here was that something had been stolen from her. Shawn reasoned that since such a minor offense usually didn't warrant the Chief of polices attention the old woman must have been someone of extremely high profile.

"We'll be right back Mrs. Mayday." The Chief stood up from her desk and excused them, leading Shawn and Gus out of the office. Shawn waited as the Chief pulled the door closed with a quiet click.

"A theft?" He whined looking around the office for Lassiter and Juliet. Maybe he could take a quick peek at wherever they were investigating. The Chief, for her part, didn't seem surprised that he knew what the old lady was there for.

"Not just a theft Mr. Spencer. Mrs. Daylane Mayday claims that someones after her life. She filed a report before..." The Chief handed over the small folder she was holding. "She says that someone is trying to kill her and steal her money, but there's never been any indication that any of that is true." The Chief explained. Shawn opened the folder and read it. There were statements taken by all the family members, and logs of the woman's most prized possessions. There was also a recent incident report. Shawn frowned at it.

"Her car was hit by another car?" Shawn asked, closing the file and handing it back. The chief nodded.

"Yes. That's why she's here and why I cant send her away. She's claiming that the car that hit her was being driven by the two people trying to kill her." Shawn frowned.

"Her report from before says that there is only one person trying to kill her." He pointed out.

"Well, she says there were two people in the car. Just, go talk to her and try to get this figured out." The Chief pleaded, she obviously didn't want to deal with little old Daylen Mayday, not when there was something bigger and better going on. Shawn wanted to insist that someone else take Maydays case, but he saw how desperate the chief was to get rid of it. So He agreed.

"All right. But I can go help Lassie and Jules with whatever they're working on when I'm done with this right?" Shawn asked feeling like a little kid asking to go to the arcade after he was done with his homework.

"Yes, Mr. Spencer." The Chief said it dismissively and she gestured for Shawn to go into her office so that he could interview his witness.

* * *

Lassiter glared as he watched the Chief talk with Spencer. The fake psychic seemed a little resigned, not as excited as he normally was. The Chief handed him a folder, Lassiter hopped it wasn't the Fields case. Shawn opened the folder and scanned it quickly probably not even bothering to read the entire file thoroughly. The head detective wondered if he was getting in trouble for something, he hoped so. Shawn suddenly turned around and glanced about the station, searching for something before turning back to the Chief. The fake psychic handed the Chief back the folder, some words were exchanged and Shawn was ushered into the Chiefs office. As soon as the doors were shut, the Chief headed straight for Carlton. Lassiter stood up as she reached his desk.

"Any news on the Fields case?" She asked. Carlton picked up the report from the crime scene investigators.

"The cause of death was blunt force trauma to the head and the strange white substance found on the body was flour." Carlton read the report aloud.

"Flour?" the Chief made a face, "Do we know where the flour came from?" She asked.

"No. Its a common baking flour, no way to trace it." Carlton closed the folder and put it back on his desk.

"What about family?" The Chief asked.

"Background search shows that they guy was a health inspector with no living relatives except for his Wife, Clover Fields." Carlton picked up another folder and opened it, showing the Chief a picture of a petite dark skinned woman with dark brown eyes and a short curled brown hair.

"Has she been brought in for questioning?" Karen asked eyeing the woman.

"Not yet. O'hara and I were making arrangements to go down and speak with the woman today." Lassiter explained. The quiet sound of heels clicking drew Lassiter and the Chiefs attention. They turned and watched as Juliet O'hara made her way over to them. The junior detective was holding Mr. Fields' bagged cellphone and a piece of paper in her hands.

"O'hara." Both the Chief and Carlton greeted her at the same time. She stopped in front of them, a small smile on her face.

"Corner report puts the time of death around 11 pm last night." She started, not even bothering to greet them back, there was excitement in her voice. "Also, the last call Mr. Fields received was from this number, which came in at 11:24 pm." She held up the number, it had an unfamiliar area code and Carlton took the piece of paper from her.

"Good work O'hara." Carlton praised. "Whose number is it?" He asked.

"Its listed as liberty apartments on the internet, and in our data base." She explained.

"Well, then lets call and see who answers." The chief interjected, reaching for the phone on Carlton's desk. The two detectives nodded and watched as the Chief dialed the number on the paper. It rang a couple times before a perky high pitched voice answered,

"Hello! Thanks for calling The Pie Hole. As in "Shut your." Or, in this case, "open your," because it's really good."

* * *

I don't know which city the pie hole is in. Okay guys? So Im naming the city south d'couer because I want to. Also, Santa barbara is now one city away from South D'couer. Dont question it, suspend your disbelief and just roll with it.


	6. One Pie Maker Á La Mode

Chapter Six: I'll take one Pie maker a la mode

* * *

Shawn and Gus entered the chiefs office and closed the door quietly behind them. Despite their slow movements, the woman, Mrs. Mayday started badly and whipped around in her seat, her back ramrod straight.

"Ohh goodness. You boys startled me." She sighed and slumped back into her chair, her eyes tracking the two men as they walked toward her. Shawn plopped down next to the little old lady Gus hovering behind Mrs. Mayday, though the little old woman didn't seem to notice.

"Mrs. Mayday." Shawn began, reaching out and placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. She watched him expectantly.

"Can you tell me about the car accident that occurred last night?" He began. If there was someone really trying to assassinate her, then he didn't want to dismiss her as easily as the police had.

"Oh yes yes." she clutched her purse to herself tightly. "I was taking my usual midnight drive-" Shawn cut her off.

"Usual midnight drive?" he questioned.

"Of course! I don't _sleep _during the night you see, If I did _that,_ then someone could come and take my things. I have to be on alert at all times." She explained.

"Well, do you sleep at all?" Shawn asked looking up at Gus who was standing slightly behind the old lady, just out of her sight. Which gave him the opportunity to lift a finger to his head and make little circles with it. Letting Shawn know exactly what he thought of this old lady.

"Of course, I go to bed around nine in the morning, and wake up around nine at night. Its a very strict schedule of course. Oh those rotten grand-kids of mine would no doubt love to get their hands on this here!" she patted her purse and nodded vigorously. Shawn just shook his head,

"Okay, right, so the accident?" He tried getting back on track.

"Oh-right of course. Well, I was out for my usual midnight drive when a car with two people into it slammed right into me! They completely destroyed the hood of my car and I nearly died! Why they didn't even stop to see if I was still breathing! They just sped off!" She cried out, her hand flying to her forehead in anguish. Shawn recalled the pictures of her car, it was a black Lexus and the only damage to it had been to the drivers sides headlight, which had been smashed and dented in.

"How fast had you been driving ma'am?" Shawn asked. Mrs. Mayday fanned herself

"Oh mercy, I wasn't paying all that much attention to the road, I must have been going dreadfully fast. Fifteen miles an hour at least. Oh I should of paid more attention." She sighed dejectedly and hugged her little white purse.

"Do you think you could identify the car that hit you?" Shawn asked leaning back in his chair. He was fairly certain that this wasn't a case of assassination gone wrong. The case file had pictures of where the accident had occurred. It had occurred at a four way stop and Shawn was fairly certain that this mysterious, "assassin" had probably stopped at their respective stop sign and just as they had started to go, Mrs. Mayday had miss the stop sign and barreled through at a whopping ten miles an hour causing the accident.

"Oh it was a green car." She informed them, offering no other information about the car. Shawn stood up, there was no one trying to assassinate this lady, of that he was sure. He had promised the chief he would solve this case, but that was before he had known that this wasn't even a case. No one was after this woman, and finding a random hit and run incident that had happened in the middle of the night would be near impossible. Not to mention very boring. If only he could disregard her and try and get on Lassie and Juliet's case. Whatever that may be. He turned and looked at the double doors, trying to come up with a way to get on the case without solving this one. The old lady seemed to know that she was losing the interest of the fake psychic so she reached out for his sleeve.

"Oh, I don't know what the car looked like, but I know what the man inside looked like. He was a rude thing! He just stared at me as they drove away. Even nodded at me. I think he was probably threatening me. Warning me that he was going to come back. Oh, it was dreadful. I memorized his face! I did! I could identify him! I really could!" She stood up as well and Shawn placed a hand on her back and gently led her to the door.

"Of course Mrs. Mayday, that sounds terrible." Shawn let sympathy and concern ooze into his voice. "I don't know who hit you with their car, but I promise, I will do whatever it takes to find the culprits." he opened the door and noticed Juliet and Lassiter throwing on jackets. It looked like they were heading out to do something far more exciting then dealing with a boring hit and run case.

"Okay. Goodbye now. Have a nice day." Shawn dismissed the lady and jogged away from her, leaving her gaping at his retreating form. He hightailed it over to where Lassiter Juliet and the Chief all stood skidding to a halt in front of the trio, he didn't react when Gus crashed into his back.

"Jules. So lovely to see you as always." He waggled his eyebrows and then looked over at Lassiter.

"Sassy Lassie." Shawn greeted, "Looks like you two are goin off to rangle and arrest the wicked and the vile." Shawn started, eyeing the case file in Lassiter's hand. Lassiter noticed the look and hid the file behind his back so that so that Shawn couldn't see it.

"Yes we are Spencer. We have leads to follow, criminals to interrogate. Real police work to do. None of that-" He waved his hand near his head. Shawn got the general insult and crossed his arms.

"What's that? No thinking to do? Because that's pretty obvious." He glanced over at Juliet. "No offense Jules." Her eyebrows shot downwards,

"How is that not offensive." she pouted, though Shawn could see the small smile she was concealing. Shawn wisely shut his mouth and turned pleading eyes on the Chief.

"Chief. C'mon. Lemme in on the case. I wanna heeelp." He groaned out the last word, desperate to get away from Maydays case. The chief crossed her arms and frowned unhappily.

"Spencer. Our deal was you figure out who hit Mrs. Mayday, and I'll let you on this case. Besides, We don't even really need you right now. Detectives Lassiter and Juliet are doing just fine on their own." The Chief offered him a shrug, though she didn't seem to be all to apologetic. Shawn felt himself deflating. Sure they weren't stuck on the case _now _but they would be soon enough. They needed him, even if they didn't know it.

"But Chief. Crazy Mayday isn't even a case! Well... She is a certain kinda case, but not a criminal case!" Shawn pleaded. The Chief once again offered her sorry-but-I'm-not-really-sorry shrug.

"She's also a very powerful political figure. She wants the person that hit her car to be caught, and I'm afraid that it's up to you to find them." The Chief turned to Lassiter and Juliet, "Let me know if you find anything interesting." She refrained from saying anything more and Shawn knew it was because she didn't want to give him any hints on where here two detectives were going. Shawn groaned loudly again.

"C'mon Gus." Shawn huffed. "Let's go find who Crazy Mayday hit with her car."

* * *

Lassiter and Juliet pulled up to the address on Mr. Fredrick Fields driver's licenses. The house was white and green trimmed and surrounded by a white picket fence. The first thing Juliet thought upon seeing it was that it looked like something out of a fairy tale. Juliet got out of the passenger seat and eyed the stone pathway leading to a light brown porch complete with a little cat statue and a white swinging bench. She heard carlton sneeze beside her and looked up at him.

"Bless you." she mumbled. He sniffled and glared at the flower bushes covered in pink flowers that surrounded the house. There were so many that their heavy aroma hung in the air like a heavy fog.

"Let's go." Carlton started towards the house, pushing open the picket fence and heading towards the front door. Juliet followed beside him eyeing the rich green grass. The pair made it to the front porch and Juliet looked down at the welcome mat, it was green and covered in pictures of yellow, pink and white flowers. Carlton knocked on the door and waited. There was a quiet shuffling noise and then the door swung open.

Clover Fields stood on the other side, a tissue clutched loosely in her white gloved hand.

"You must be the detectives." She sniffled and straitened out the green floral patterned sun dress she was wearing. Juliet looked into her home and noticed the floral patterned wall paper in the hallway.

"Yes ma'am. May we come in? We'd like to ask you a few questions about your husband." Juliet requested politely. The woman sniffled and reached up to fluff her perfectly curled brown hair.

"Why yes yes. Of course of course. Do come in, come in." She stepped to the side and Juliet and Lassiter walked in. Juliet looked around the house, there were various end tables in the hallway covered in real flowers and glass flowers alike. Little doilies sat underneath each vase and the carpet was a rich emerald color that reminded Juliet of the deep green grass outside. Mrs. Fields led them into her living room and gestured for them to take a seat on her white floral patterned couch. Juliet sat and Lassiter followed her lead. There was a coffee table in front of them with a flower vase and cat knickknacks sitting on a large white lace doily. Juliet noticed that the armrests of the couch and the recliner that Mrs. fields had sat her self in all had matching white lace doilies as well. The only piece of furniture in the room not covered in some kind of floral pattern was a single dark blue cloth recliner. Juliet eyed it until Clover noticed.

"You've noticed my husband's recliner I see I see." She reached up and dabbed at her eyes.

"Yes ma'am. It doesn't really fit in with everything else in your home." Juliet pointed out. The woman huffed a sigh, her body straightening and then slouching dramatically. Her bottom lip quivered and Juliet wished she was sitting closer to the distraught woman so that she could reach out and try and console her. Clover pulled herself together though and spoke, her voice tight with emotion.

"Yes, Yes. He was always so patient, so patient, with my decorative passions. He drew the line with the chair though. He said...he said it was his favorite and he couldn't give it up for a new one." She shuddered and dabbed at her other eye. Juliet could hear the contempt in her partners voice when he next spoke.

"Ma'am is there anyone you can think of that would want to hurt your husband." Carlton asked bluntly. Clover sniffled and looked up at him, her brown almond shaped eyes watery.

"Of course not! Of course not! My husband was such a kind mild mannered man! He was a health inspector, a health inspector!"

"Was there anyone at work that he was having troubles with?" Juliet asked, eyeing Carlton, she wished he would be a little more sympathetic.

"No, no. Not that I can think of. He got along with everyone, _everyone_, that he worked with." Clover smiled at the two of them, "Would either of you care for some tea, some tea?" She asked looking between the two. Juliet declined politely at the same time that Carlton barked out an abrupt no.

"Were there any people outside of his work that he knew?" Carlton asked. Getting the questions back on track.

"My husband was very dedicated, very dedicated to his work Detective. He didn't usually go out, especially not this week. Not this week." She sighed and slumped in her flowery chair.

"What happened this week?" Juliet asked, hoping to get a lead. Clover seemed to realize their excitement.

"Oh my nothing really. Nothing really. I'm sorry to of given false hope. Its just my husband, my husband was having such a terrible week. Terrible week. He normally dint go out or do anything, but this week he just wanted to stay in and watch the TV... just watch the TV." She enlightened them.

"Do you know why he was feeling so down?" Juliet pushed. Clover brought a hand up to her chin.

"It had something to do...oh, something to do, with one of the restaurants he inspected. An angry, _angry_, owner or something. I'm not really sure. Not really sure. He dint like to talk about work with me. Said it was boring." She looked between the two detectives. "Are you sure you wouldn't like some tea? Some tea?" She asked. Carlton ignored her,

"Can you tell us anything about the angry owner?" Carlton asked, he leaned forward in his chair. Juliet thought back to the phone they had found on Mr. Fields body. The last call received had been from a restaurant, and now Mrs. Fields was claiming that her husband had gotten into an argument with a mysterious restaurant owner. Juliet knew her partner was making the same connections as her.

"No not really. My sweet husband, sweet husband, came home all stressed two days ago and he said it was because of work. But then he didn't talk about it, not one bit. One bit!" She let out a breath and placed her hand on her chest, fresh tears welling in her eyes but never spilling. "I'm sorry, that's all I can remember. All I can remember." She sniffled and dabbed at her eyes delicately again. Carlton stood up, Juliet following and the two detectives dismissed themselves. They stepped out of the house and Carlton practically sprinted to his car. Well, it felt like he was sprinting, Juliet struggled to keep up with his long legged fast pace.

"The Pie Hole?" she questioned reaching the crown vic and pulling open the passenger side door.

"The Pie Hole." Carlton confirmed, pulling his seatbelt on and starting the car.

* * *

Ned laid a thin crust over the top of his pie carefully. He avoided touching any fruit within his creation and once the crust was in place he scrunched the edges up and reached for the bowl of melted butter he had prepared earlier. Grabbing the brush that was sitting in the butter he lightly swept the top of the pie crust and then looked down in admiration. Smiling slightly he picked up the pie and headed towards the oven. Sliding it in, he shut the oven door and wiped his hands on his apron, leaving large flour smudges. The day had been good, no rush, but steady. Enough to keep Olive, Chuck and himself busy, but slow enough that there had been no frantic pie making scramble. There had been a few call in orders placed earlier in the day, but the pie that Ned had just put in the oven had been the last of those orders and now the pie maker was finished with baking for the day. He turned around and watched as Chuck finished cleaning up her own pie making mess. The couple had been working silently in front of one another, the counter keeping them a safe distance apart. Chuck looked up and noticed her boyfriend watching her.

"Was that all the orders for today?" She asked leaning against the counter. He smiled at her.

"Yup. All that's left is to deal with any customers that come in today." He looked over at the clock, it was five twenty and that meant that they still had about four hours of work left. Ned looked out at the lobby, there were no customers. Olive was sitting at a table, reading a little piece of paper and drinking a coffee. Chuck wandered closer to Ned and stopped about an arm's length from him. Ned felt a thrill shoot up his spin at being so close to her. He leaned forward slightly, wishing they could touch.

"It's been kinda slow this week. Don't you think?" Chuck asked. Ned shrugged.

"Slow is okay, down time is the best way to get caught up with things." He said. Chuck looked down at the ground then back up at Ned.

"What do you think Olives reading out there?" She asked suddenly, turning her attention to her friend. Ned looked through the door way at Olive. The piece of paper she was hunched over was small. Ned stepped closer to Chuck.

"I don't know. But she been staring at it for almost twenty minutes straight. Maybe she wrote a confession of love for someone." Ned suggested, it looked like a small personal letter. Chuck glanced at him sharply.

"A love letter?" She looked back over at Olive. "I'm gunna go find out. Walking" Chuck stepped forward just as Ned froze in place,

"Waiting." He mumbled, waiting for her to walk out into the lobby. He was slightly confused by her sudden interest in what Olive was doing and wondered if her desire to find out had been caused by something he said. Ned frowned and decided that instead of dwelling on it he was going to bake a pie.

* * *

Lassiter looked up at the pie encrusted building labeled, _The Pie Hole._

"Pie." He sighed and waited for Juliet to climb out of the car and stand by his side. "Leave it up to criminals to taint a holy, all American food with murder. Nothings sacred O'Hara." Lassiter groused. Juliet slammed the door shut.

"What are you talking about Carlton." Juliet asked walking up to stand next to her partner. Lassiter frowned down at her.

"Murderers making pie." He shook his head in disgust. Juliet gave him a disapproving look.

"We don't know if they're murderers." Juliet reprimanded him, heading for the door. She pulled it open, and a little bell chimed, announcing her and her partners presence. Lassiter scoffed at her ignorance, but didn't dispute her, no matter that the facts were all pointing to this place. Lassiter examined the restaurant, there were two women sitting at a table when they walked in, a brunette and a blonde woman. The blonde woman jumped up and hurried over to the two of them.

"Hey there! Welcome to the Pie Hole as in-" Lassiter raised a hand, cutting her off.

"Yeah yeah, quit your yappin, we heard your little slogan the first time around." He snapped. The waitress bristled and put her hands on her hips angrily.

"Now you listen here you little grumpy pants. I don't care who you are, but there is no way I'm gunna just stand here and let you talk to me like that." She huffed and tapped her foot, clearly waiting for an apology. Carlton stared at the fiery little waitress, his eyebrow raised in curiosity. Normally people just deflated and got embarrassed when he snapped at them. The two people stared at each other, neither one backing down when Juliet butted in.

"I'm sorry for my partner ma'am. Were detectives from the Santa Barbara police department. We'd like to speak with the owner please." Juliet explained, trying to placate the irate blond. The waitress turned and considered Juliet, there was a pause, and the woman seemed to decide that as Juliet was much more polite, Juliet was worthy of attention. Ignoring Carlton all together the little waitress responded.

"That would be Ned. Hes just in the back, making pies. I'll go and get him for you." Carlton watched her walk off and head to the back of the shop. He noticed a tall man standing in the middle of the kitchen. The man looked nervous and fidgeted when olive began talking with him. She pointed in Carlton and Juliet's direction and Carlton watched as the nervous pie maker glanced out at them quickly and then back down at his waitress. Everything about the guy screamed nervous wreck and Carlton glared, more convinced with each second that this was their man. Carlton watched the pie maker shuffle out of the kitchen and over to them, he stood in front of the two, his hands clasped behind his back.

"What can I do for you detectives?" He started, clearing his throat nervously. Before Carlton could demand that the pie maker tell them where he had been last night, Juliet spoke up.

"Me and my partner would just like to ask you some questions, maybe we should all have a seat?" She suggested. Carlton rolled his eyes, irritated by his partners polite and kind nature. The pie maker swallowed visibly.

"Oh right. Sit down. sure." He gave a nervous airy laugh and then turned abruptly. Walking over to a booth he slid in and sat down, Juliet and Lassiter sliding in opposite of him. The pie maker coughed nervously, his thick eyebrows drawn in worry.

"Where were you last night." Lassiter blurted out, before Juliet could interrupt with more pleasantries. The pie maker stared blankly for a second before the worried eyebrows pulled down even further in confusion.

"Last night? I was-" He paused and seemed to remember something. "I was in my apartment, upstairs." He pointed up at the ceiling and then dropped his hand slowly. "Why?" He asked looking between the two detectives. Juliet set the folder she was carrying down on the table between them.

"Last night, at about eleven pm- this man," She opened the folder and showed off a picture of Fredrick Fields, "Was killed." Lassiter watched The pie makers face. Other then a slight raising of eyebrows there was no other emotion. Besides nervous and really, did this guy have any other emotions?.

"I don't understand what-"The pie maker leaned back, his eyes widening, "You think I killed him!" He gasped slumping down in his seat. He looked horrified. Lassiter leaned forward and pointed at the table they were sitting at,

"The last call made to him was from this building." Lassiter hissed. Ned stared at the head detectives finger.

"N-no! I don't even know who he is. And last night I was- I was with..." He trailed off and paused, "Uhm, no one. But I didn't kill anyone! Why would I kill someone I don't know." Ned pleaded with them. Juliet leaned forward then too, and the mood felt much more like an interrogation then it did a causal chat. Carlton smirked slightly, internally praising his partners change in demeanor.

"Frederick Fields was a health inspector. Two days ago he gave this restaurant a failing grade, and the next day he winds up dead. The last person to call him was someone in this restaurant. The only person with any motive, would be you." Juliet explained, a hard edge in her voice. Ned stared at Juliet, his jaw slack.

"Th-the health inspector? What? I'd forgotten his name. They sent a new guy out the next day, a really sad looking old guy. I forgot his name too. He said he wanted to apologize for his co workers behavior and then he reinspected everything and passed us." Ned explained wringing his hands together under the table. Carlton glared at the nervous pie maker.

"So you called in a different inspector because you thought Fields was wrong? Did you two argue?" Carlton asked laying his hands flat on the table and leaning in closer to Ned. The pie maker pressed himself against the cushions behind him.

"No! He just showed up. I don't know what happened or why, but he just showed up the next day." Ned insisted staring at Carlton's face. The head detective leaned back.

"Mrs. Fields insists that two days ago her husband came back from work, upset after an argument. You want me to believe that argument wasn't between you and his failing inspection? You want me to believe you dint call and complain to the head honcho?" Lassiter raised a skeptical eyebrow. Ned spluttered defensively.

"Head honcho? Me call the head honcho? No sir. There was no calling of heads or honchos. Honestly, after he failed my restaurant he kind of just left. I hardly said anything to him!" Ned tried to persuade them, but just as Lassiter was about to call bull on that story, the little blond waitress suddenly appeared at their table, two pies in hand.

"Hi. Don't mind me. I was just..." She paused and bit her lip. She made a little humming noise, "Well, I was eavesdropping. Ain't no other way to put it." she smiled widely at the detective and set the pies she was carrying down in front of them.

"What are you doing Olive." Ned mumbled at her, staring as she set the food down.

"Strawberry for you." she slid the pie to Juliet, "And Apple for you. Now." Olive slid into the seat next to Ned, knocking into him. The pie maker recoiled from her and pressed against the far side of the booth.

"I may have one of your little mysteries solved." She laughed once, and it sounded nervous.

"Which one?" Lassiter groused, frowning at her. He picked up a fork laying on the table and stabbed his pie. Sure it was made by a murderer, but apple pie was apple pie. He took a tentative bite, hoping that it would taste terrible. Unfortunately, it was delicious.

"Well. I'm the one that called the, All Health; Health Inspector Deployment Center." She explained sheepishly. Ned looked at her, a frown schooling his features into what could have been a glare, if it wasn't for the fact that he was still so nervous looking.

"Olive! I told you and-" He stumbled over an unspoken thought, "uh- I told you to leave it alone! He would of come back in a week and redone the inspection. Fighting back never brings anything but trouble." Ned sounded like he was repeating a sentiment that he had conveyed once before. Olive had the decency to look guilty. Carlton watched and shoved another piece of pie into his mouth.

"You're the one that made the call to the health inspection company?" he asked. Scooting his pie to the side. Olive nodded.

"Sure am. But it was for a good reason! That health inspector didn't have no reason to be failin the Pie Hole!" she nodded with certainty.

"And where were you last night?" He asked. Realizing that their attention was now on her as number one suspect Olive crossed her arms.

"I was at home" She pointed to the ceiling as well. Defiance in her eyes. "Yes I was alone too." She answered that question as well, and Carlton wondered if she had been listening in on their whole conversation. He just regraded the two of them silently before coming to a decision. For some reason the two, Ned especially were acting like they had nothing to hide. Carlton smiled, he loved it when criminals thought they had thought of everything. All he needed to do was find a piece of information, anything at all to prove that they hadn't.

"If you've got nothing to hide, you wouldn't mind if we looked around then, would you?" Carlton asked watching the two's faces. Olive responded with a perky and confidant

"Not at all" Ned's

"N-no." Was a little more reserved.

* * *

Ned sat in the booth as the two detectives got up out of their seats and wandered around the lobby, looking around. Ned turned to Olive.

"I told you and Chuck to leave the inspector alone!" He groaned quietly. He had told them to leave it. Don't worry about it, don't _fight _it. This was just like the time those candy people had sent a corrupt health inspector to the Pie hole. Ned cradled his head in his hands. He had been arrested by the police then too. Not that he had been arrested this time. Yet.

"Sorry." Olives voice was low and full of remorse, "We shoulda listened to you. You're always right about stuff like this." She sighed and watched the two detectives walk into the kitchen.

"And I can't even tell them that I was with Chuck last night, because she's supposed to be dead." Ned pointed out, his head still in his hands. He didn't know how this could get any worse. At least he had thrown away all the moldy fruit in the back storage room and unlocked the door. He was preparing himself for another surprise inspection. He hopped this preparation would make him seem less suspicious. The two fell into silence as the detectives searched. It was about ten minutes later when the blond detective walked over to their table quickly.

"Please stand up." she instructed to Ned. Ned looked at Olive with worry, both of them scooting out of the booth. Ned stood up and faced the woman, she stared at him, no compassion in her face.

"Turn around." She demanded. Ned gaped at her.

"Wha-What's happening!" he gasped turning around. The other detective walked out of the kitchen, a lead pipe in his gloved hand.

"Found this under your sink is whats going on, Pie maker." Lassiter tilted the pipe so that the blood on the end of it was clearly visible. All Ned could do was gap at it, his mind blank. He looked over at Olive for help or support or something, but she too was staring with nothing helpful to say. Juliet grabbed his wrists and Ned winced at the contact. He thought of the last time he had been arrested and felt his heart sink. It had been over the supposed murder of a health inspector. He knew that wasn't going to help his case any. Juliet clicked the handcuffs around Ned's wrists.

* * *

Juliet put the cuffs on and grabbed the taller man by the elbow. The pipe had been stowed away under the sink, hidden from anyone who wasn't looking. She began reciting the Miranda rights to the pie maker, once she was done she ushered Ned towards her partner. Lassiter took the pie makers elbow roughly and drug him out the door. Juliet sent one last glance around the restaurant. She noticed two things as she followed her partner out the door, one was that the little waitress was watching with tears in her eyes and the other was that the second brown haired woman who had been sitting in the restaurant when they first came in, was gone. Juliet wondered when she had disappeared

* * *

Sorry this chapter took so long to come out. I have most of these things written and I honestly just forget about posting them.


	7. Reunited and it feels so good

Chapter Seven: Reunited and it feels so good

* * *

Shawn crept into the station, Gus walking loudly behind him. They had gone and talked with Crazy old Maydays family and the only thing that Shawn had learned was that Crazy old Maydays family was just as crazy as Crazy ol' Mrs. Mayday. They had each insisted that different family members were all after something. The only Mayday that Shawn had liked was the little white Maltese that they had found wandering around the mansion. Shawn had spent the better part of thirty minutes in some empty room playing with the dog, ignoring the rest of the Maydays and wishing he could be on Lassiter's case. Gus had called it sulking, Shawn had called it a necessary respite from a mentally unstable family's conspiracy theories. Shawn shook the memory from his mind, refocusing on his stealthy creep through the station. Or rather, he was focusing on his friends loud footfalls.

"Gus. Stop walking around like that! people will see you. We're trying to be stealthy." Shawn whisper hissed glancing around the station. Gus snorted and leaned against the wall, waiting for Shawn to stop, 'scoping' the area out.

"Everyone can already see us. They're just ignoring you because you always do weird stuff." Gus grumbled pulling out his phone and messing with it. Shawn tsked at him and reached over and slapped Gus on the chest.

"Ow!" Gus snapped.

"We're not hiding from everyone just the-" Shawn cut off and ducked behind the wall as the Chief walked out of her office. She walked quickly and with a brisk purpose down towards the evidence lock up. Shawn watched her go and then stepped out from his hiding place.

"What are we doing?" Gus asked suspiciously. Shawn just gestured for Gus to follow him. They were here to rifle through Lassiter's desk and see if they could find a file on whatever Lassiter and Juliet were working on. There was no way Shawn was going to solve the case of the hit and run when there was much bigger fish to fry. Shawn reached the desk and started to dig. Gus stepped up behind him.

"Shawn! Stop! There are witnesses! If anyone sees you and tells on you were going to be in trouble." Gus whined. Shawn didn't stop searching.

"Gus don't be an under cooked plate of chicken fettuccine. No one's going to _tell _on us okay? Its like you said, people ignore me because I do weird stuff all the time!" Shawn stepped away from the desk. It seemed the people he worked with knew him well. There were no case files anywhere in Lassiter's desk. Shawn looked over at the clock on the wall. It was seven twelve pm. Juliet and Lassiter had left around noon. Shawn thought carefully. The Chief could of been heading down to the evidence locker, or she could of been heading down to the interrogation rooms. It had been long enough for Juliet and Lassiter to of gone wherever their lead had taken them, arrested someone and brought them back for questioning. Shawn glance over at Gus, bringing a hand to his forehead.

"I'm sensing-" Gus reached out and slapped Shawn's hand away from his head. He raised his eyebrows making a face that Shawn read as, _I know you're not a psychic._ To which Shawn responded with a pout that said, _dude. _Gus just shrugged.

"Anyway." Shawn continued. They weren't going to find any important files at Lassies desk. But the fake psychic still wanted information. Any information. Turning and heading towards the interrogation rooms Shawn said, "I know where our favorite junior detective is. And Lassie. I know where he is too."

* * *

Lassiter watched as Juliet interrogated the pie maker. They had brought him back to the station and had decided to use Juliet hoping her softer demeanor might convince the nervous man to talk. So far it hadn't worked.

"Do you remember the conversation you had with Frederick Fields on the night of Tuesday the fifteenth?" She asked twining her fingers together in front of Ned. Lassiter watched the pie maker shake his head.

"Not really. I mean, it was just a meaningless little conversation. You know. Idle chit chat. He inspected things, I watched him inspect things. He wasn't very talkative. Just, 'mhmm-ing' and 'aha-ing' at everything. He never even explained himself. Just wrote me an F and said he'd be back for a surprise inspection later." The pie maker shrugged nervously, wringing his hands in his lap. Lassiter glared at him, not turning to greet the Chief when she walked up beside him.

"Is he talking?" she asked examining the suspect. Lassiter sighed.

"Yeah, hes talking a lot, but hes not saying anything useful." the head detective groused. The chief made a little hmming noise and watched Juliet.

"Do we have enough to keep him here." She asked after a beat. Lassiter nodded.

"Plenty. There's the phone call, the bloody pipe, and the fact that he has no alibi. Also the reports came back. The white substance at the crime scene was flour." Lassiter listed.

"What's so great about flour?" Lassiter and the Chief jumped forward and away from the voice that had suddenly appeared behind them.

"Spencer!" Lassiter gasped, his hand on his heart. "I could have shot you, you damn idiot!" He expected Shawn to say something stupid in response, make a joke, a quip or something. What he didn't expect was the wide eyed look of surprised horror frozen on the fake psychics face.

"Spencer?" the Chief asked. She had probably been about to reprimand him for butting in on a case he wasn't yet allowed on, but the look on his face had her holding her tongue.

"Ned?" Shawn whispered to himself and Lassiter felt lightning shoot down his spine. Spencer knew the pie maker. Lassiter watched as Shawn's face morphed from surprise into attentive concentration. Shawn's eyes narrowed, his mouth snapped shut and the rare instances of intellect that the head detective sometimes witnessed on Shawn's face appeared. Lassiter wondered what Shawn was thinking, but the head detective didn't say anything. It was moments like this that always caught Lassiter off-guard. Before anyone could react further, Shawn shoved forward, knocking into Lassiter and the Chief and barged into the interrogation room. The pie maker looked up at Shawn in startled amazement,

"Shawn?"

Juliet's head snapped over to look at the pie maker and then back at Shawn quickly.

"What?" Juliet said, confused that the two seemed to know each other. Shawn stepped further into the room.

"I am representing this man as my client!" Shawn exclaimed. Juliet frowned at him, Lassiter and the Chief rushed in behind him. Lassiter stalked towards Shawn, his hands raised as if he was about to grab Shawn and manhandle him out of the room.

"Oh for the love of justice- get out of here Spencer. You're not a lawyer." Shawn held up a hand silencing Lassiter and stopping the detective from advancing further.

"Like usual. You're wrong." The serious look on Shawn's face was still firmly in place, "While I was traveling I got into some..." he wiggled his fingers, searching for the right word. "Trouble. I guess. There was this lawyer, a lot of stolen watches and this guy dressed as batman in a trench and a gang that had hopped the Canadian border." Shawn waved his hand dismissing his own story. "Point is, when I was in Washington state I passed an oral examination by a panel of attorneys. Long story short, I'm a licensed attorney." Shawn explained. Watching everyone gape at him in horror.

"There's no way." Lassiter hissed. There was no joking look on Shawn's face though. The pseudo psychic still held his chin high in serious determination.

"What are you doing?" The Chief eyed him wearily. Shawn glared in defiance at her, not answering.

"Shawn?" Juliet stared at him in confusion. But Shawn couldn't bring himself to look at her. He didn't know how she would take him disobeying the Chief and stalling their case like this. It was during this tense stare down that Gus poked his head into the interrogation room. Shawn had instructed him to wait down hall so that the Pseudo psychic could scare Lassiter.

"Whats...going...on..." He took in the scene around him, everyone was staring at Shawn with a mix of confusion and anger.

"What did you do now?" Gus asked. Lassiter was about to forcefully shove Shawn out of the interrogation room when the fake psychic suddenly spoke up.

"Attorney client privilege Lassiter. If you don't believe me go check it out." Shawn insisted. Lassiter paused at the use of his full name. Any other time he would of rolled his eyes and thrown Shawn out of the room bodily. This time was different though, the moment Shawn had laid eyes on the pie maker, the normally aloof attitude the pseudo psychic wrapped himself in had disappeared Lassiter, still thrown off by this, was uncertain how he should react to this new serious Shawn. Shawn just stared them all down, daring someone to make a move. He needed them to know that he was serious, which meant no joking, no smiling, no name calling. It was, of course the Chief who moved first.

"Detective Lassiter, wait here. Detective O'hara, follow me." she turned to Shawn. "We're going to check and see if you're licensed, if your lying to me right now for some reason, I will ban you from the station." She stared at him, Lassiter could tell she wasn't angry, but she did seem incredibly baffled. Lassiter glanced around the room quickly. In fact, they all were.

* * *

Twenty minutes later and Shawn watched with anticipation as Juliet and the Chief walked back into the room.

"He's not lying." The chief stared at Shawn's serious face, pausing as if she was about to say something, but instead shook her head and ushered everyone out of the room. Leaving only Gus. Lassiter watched in slight fascination as Shawn nodded at his friend and then said,

"Sorry Gus." Lassiter felt like he was in some strange twilight zone. Spencer was a lawyer? Spencer was being serious? Spencer was asking Gus to leave the room to talk with some random criminal? Lassiter walked over to the glass looking in on the room. Shawn was watching the door waiting for Gus to walk out and shut it. The door shut and Lassiter glanced over at the group that had just exited the room.

"Turn it off." The Chief shrugged her shoulders in surrender. She had been trying to keep Shawn off the case, but had ended up forcing him to be the only one on it. Juliet and Karen turned and headed down the hallway silently, both lost in their own thoughts. Gus walked over to where Lassiter was standing and looked in through the glass. Shawn looked over and Lassiter could swear that the fake psychic was making eye contact with him. Shawn stood there. Waiting. There was a little speaker in the interrogation room, one that had a little red light on it so that the people inside knew when they were being listened to. Lassiter looked down at the speaker button in front of him. The one that would silence all sounds from inside the room.

"We shouldn't watch. It's not allowed." Lassiter grumbled not looking at Gus. Gus remained silent and Lassiter reached forward and clicked the button. Turning off all the sound. Gus and Lassiter watched through the glass with anticipation.

* * *

Shawn turned towards Ned, his face passive. They hadn't seen each other in years and yet Shawn was certain that even without an eidetic memory that night would always remain clear in his mind.

"Ned!" Shawn's blank face cracked and he smiled widely at his friend, throwing his arms out. Ned smiled sheepishly as well, relaxing slightly. Shawn stumbled over to the table as Ned stood up. The two walked around the table and Shawn stopped about an arm's length from his old friend.

"Shawn! You're a lawyer?" Ned asked. Shawn flittered around Ned, bouncing on the balls of his feet excitedly. He wanted to reach out and shake Ned's hand or throw his arms around him and give him a hug or slap him on the shoulder or _something _but he knew he couldn't. The whole no touching rule, really made him want to touch.

"Technically yeah. I got my licenses a long time ago." Shawn explained, he stepped away from Ned and sat down on the opposite side of the table. Ned scooted away from the table slightly so that their legs wouldn't accidentally touch.

"What do you mean technically?" Ned asked. Shawn leaned forward, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I memorized a bunch of answers to some questions they would ask and got a licensee." Shawn laughed. "I don't know anything about being a lawyer though. And my license has got to be close to expiring by now." He confessed. Ned raised his eyebrows.

"Was this before or after the Pie hole?" He asked. Shawn shrugged.

"After. But don't worry. I know a really good lawyer if you need one. I'm actually a psychic detective! I work here. I'll make sure I prove you innocent." Shawn said it sincerely.

"A psychic?" Ned asked. He supposed it wasn't impossible, who was he to deny the supernatural, but still, Shawn never mentioned being psychic when he had worked at the Pie hole. There had been moments when Ned had wondered how Shawn had known certain things. Whenever he asked Shawn about it, Shawn would just explain that he was simply paying attention. Shawn made a face suddenly and reached up to scratch his neck.

"Oh, uh. What exactly have you been arrested for?" He asked, remembering that he actually knew nothing about this case. Ned leaned back in his chair.

"Are you sure you can help me. I know your dad trained you and all but-" Shawn cut him off.

"Of course! I have a one hundred percent solve rate! I just, wasn't supposed to be on this case. That's all." Shawn explained. Ned seemed to deflate even more.

"Then how did..." He started, confused.

"How did I know you were in here?" Shawn asked. "I didn't! I was just coming to check out who Lassie and Jules had picked up. I snuck up on Lassie so that I could eavesdrop on his conversation with the Chief and that's when I saw you! I figured you were the one arrested and that you probably needed help." Shawn explained. "So. What have you been arrested for my pie making friend?" Shawn finished. Ned sighed and dropped his chin to his chest.

"Murder." He groaned. Shawn let out a low whistle.

"Well. That's not good." He mumbled. Ned glared up at him.

"Not really no. Those two detectives say that the health inspector that gave the Pie Hole a bad grade wound up murdered the next day. They also say that he told his wife he'd had an argument at work and they think the argument was with me." Ned explained everything that police had said to him about the case. He explained how Olive had called and complained and about how they had found the pipe under his sink. He also explained that the last call made to Fredrick Fields had come from the Pie Hole. Shawn listened quietly.

"Are you sure you don't have an alibi? Anything at all?" Shawn asked finally. Ned looked down sheepishly.

"Well, there is... Chuck." He said the name cautiously,

"Whose Chuck?" Shawn asked. Ned looked up at Shawn and then down again.

"She's my girlfriend." He started cautiously. Shawn looked on expectantly.

"Was she with you last night?" Shawn asked excitedly.

"Yes." Ned responded monotone.

"So...?" Shawn pressed.

"She was once dead." Ned's shoulders raised, as his head ducked down further, making him look embarrassed. Shawn's mouth dropped.

"Once Dead? Like, _me_ kind of once dead?" He asked. Ned nodded helplessly.

"Yes. I brought her back to life and then I just couldn't let her stay dead and so now she lives with me at the Pie Hole, but everyone thinks she's dead and if anyone saw her they might recognize her as lonely tourist Charles Charles and that would be bad because she was strangled and thrown into the ocean." Ned explained in a rush of breath. Shawn just stared at him his mouth hanging open stupidly.

"Is there anyone _else _you've brought back from the dead?" Shawn asked. Ned looked down at his lap.

"I bring people back almost weekly." He admitted. Shawn spluttered and drew back from the pie maker.

"What do you mean you-" Ned lifted his hands in a placating manner.

"Not like that! I re-dead them before their minute is up so no one else dies. I work with a private detective. His name is Emerson Cod, he found out about what I can do and now he takes me to murder victims and has me alive-again them so that he can ask them who killed them!" Ned explained quickly. Shawn relaxed.

"So me and Chuck are the only two people who you've permanently made-alive again?" Shawn asked, using the pie makers earlier phrasing.

"You two and my dog." Ned added. Shawn sighed. But leaned back in his chair to think.

"The first thing we need to do is get you out of here so that we can ask Mr. Fields who killed him." Shawn started.

"Get me out? How?" He asked. Shawn leaned back in his chair, his face despondent. The evidence against Ned was serious.

"I'll find a way. Like I said, I'm not an actual Lawyer, So I may have to go talk to an associate about this." Shawn grumbled unhappily. He wanted to take Ned with him right now, but he knew that his friend would never be allowed out of the police station, not like this.

"So what do we do?" Ned asked frantically, he had been hopeful when Shawn had first appeared. Finally someone believed him and was going to try and help him. That realization had his heart fluttering happily. Now though he could feel his heart crashing back down to earth and shattering into a million piece. Shawn looked at Ned sympathetically as if he knew what Ned was thinking.

"Hey! Don't worry. You can trust me. You may have to spend a little time in a holding cell, but I promise, I will get you out as soon as I can." Shawn stood up, his chair scraping behind him.

"Trust me." Shawn smiled, trying to be reassuring. Ned gulped and nodded his head,

"O-okay." He nodded his head nervously, hoping that Shawn could somehow save him.

* * *

So, I googled it and you can be made an attorney if you pass an oral examination by a bunch of lawyers or something. So thats what Shawn did. Also, I did a really really good job of getting Ned seriously incriminated. Like, after I wrote all this I was like.. wait.. now.. how am I supposed to get him out of this!? So I'm just going to assume that Ned, with his crimes can get bailed out of jail. Which is what I will have Shawn do. Besides who wants to read about all the legal proceedings that go with getting someone released from lockup. Not me


	8. Nice Place You Got Here

Chapter eight: Nice Place You Got Here

* * *

Ned sat in his little holding cell dejectedly. He had been in there for a full day and though he had known Shawn a long time ago, he didn't know him now. As such he had no idea if his old friend could really Bail him out. Ned let his head hang, wondering if maybe he should've gotten a real lawyer. Before he had time to ponder the thought further an officer walked up to his doors, unlocking them with a loud click. Ned looked up with wide scared eyes. His head swam with memories of his last prison experience, he wondered how long he would survive this time. Ned stood up to face his the cop as the officer walked into the dimly lit cell.

"Bails posted." The cop snapped, pulling the door open and stepping aside . Ned gaped at him. Bail? Posted? His bail was not cheap. Ned collected his things and walked to the exit, wondering if it had somehow been Shawn who had managed to get him out. Sure enough standing outside the courthouse, at the bottom of the building stone staircase was Shawn. Next to Shawn stood a man that Ned did not recognize. Walking down the stairs, Ned couldn't help but smile meekly. Shawn was grinning ear to ear, his hands on his hips.

"Told you I could get you out!" He laughed happily. Ned stopped in front of Shawn and clasped his hands behind his back.

"I never doubted you." He lied, looking sheepish. Shawn tilted his head and raised his eyebrows.

"Yes you did. You were just thinking," Shawn lowered his voice and imitated Ned's thoughts, "M_aybe I shouldn't of let Shawn be my lawyer. Maybe I should of gotten a real one." _Ned was take aback, his thoughts drifted towards Shawn's claims of being a psychic. Shawn had always been able to do unexplainable things, though he had never claimed to be psychic. Then again, Ned had his own secrets he liked to keep to himself. Pushing the thoughts from his mind, Ned spoke.

"Well, I'm glad I didnt. I dont know how to thank you. Getting me out on bail, promising to help me out of this mess. You haven't even questioned my innocence. Not even once. It means a lot I wish I could-" Ned felt a little lump in his throat, he swallowed it down. It had been so long since he had seen Shawn but the psychic was acting like no time had passed at all. Ned really wished he could do something to thank his friend, pat him on the back, offer a handshake. Anything. As if reading his thoughts, which was starting to get a little unnerving Shawn made a noise.

"Ah! I brought this!" He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a leather glove. It looked like something he wore while on his bike. Slipping it on, Shawn offered his hand to Ned. Ned smiled and grasped his friend's hand tightly,

"It's good to see you Ned. I promise to get you out of this mess no matter what it takes." The two shook and Ned felt a weight lifting from his chest, a faith he hadn't felt since he had been arrested restoring itself.

"Thank you Shawn." The two let go of each other's hands and before either of them could say anything else, the man that Ned had forgotten about cleared his throat. Ned looked over at him, embarrassed about forgetting his presence. Shawn looked over at the man.

"Oh yeah. Ned this is Gus. Gus this is the pie maker." Shawn introduced gesturing between the two of them. Ned frowned, feeling some memory tickling at the back of his mind. It took him a moment, but he suddenly remembered all the stories Shawn had told him about Gus while Shawn had been working at the Pie Hole.

"You're _the _Gus?" Ned gaped staring at the man in admiration. Gus seemed slightly taken aback.

"I don't know about _the _Gus." He straightened up suspiciously and glared at Shawn out of the corner of his eye. He made a tsking noise, "What did Shawn tell you about me. Whatever it was, it was probably a lie." Gus started. Shawn also made a tsking noise, he reached forward and slapped Gus on the chest.

"C'mon son! I talked about you all the time when I was on the road. Told everyone our exciting stories." Shawn admitted. Gus looked from his friend to the pie maker. Ned nodded.

"The stories were exciting." He admitted. Truthfully, Shawn never stopped talking about Gus, often bringing up things that he and Gus had done as children or in high school. Whenever something small happened that reminded Shawn of his friend he usually always pointed it out. Ned smiled at the memory, he could tell that the two were close. Gus seemed to relax at the insistence that none of the stories were embarrassing, and Ned decided to leave out that a lot of the stories were actually very embarrassing.

"Then it's nice to meet you." Gus said politely, extending his hand. Ned reached out and shook it, baffled at the sudden confused expression Gus presented him with. Gus recoiled as if he had been burned. Shawn and Ned stared at him in confusion.

"Dude what the heck?" Shawn asked eyeing Gus. Ned stared worriedly at Gus, the irrational thought that Gus was dead and had just been effected by his powers somehow dancing though his mind. Even though that thought made no sense.

"S-sorry! I thought you were like a weird germaphobe or something, what with you never touching anyone and with Shawn and his glove..." Gus gestured at Shawn's hand which still had the leather glove on it. Shawn looked down at his hand.

"Oh." he mumbled, removing the glove and stuffing it back in his pocket. Shawn glanced up at Ned and raised his eyebrows, panicking, Ned said the first thing that popped into his head.

"I-I'm allergic. To shawn. Skin on skin contact causes horrible boils that spread all over my body. It's very bad, very ugly. When we first met, he almost killed me when we shook hands. It's the same for my girlfriend, Chuck. Can't touch even a little bit. Instant death." Ned smiled tightly, his eyes darting over to Shawn. Shawn pursed his lips, clearly thinking that the excuse was a bad one. Both people looked towards Gus to determine his reaction. As long as he believed it, then it wouldn't matter how ridiculous the excuse sounded. Gus glared at them, Ned fidgeted nervously. Sure it wasn't a good excuse, but Olive had believed it. Though without any reason to think that he was lying Gus had no choice but to go along with it.

"All right. Well then it's nice to meet you." Gus reinstated. Ned nodded at him and the trio fell into silence.

"What do we do now?" Ned asked looking to Shawn. Gus nodded and turned to look at Shawn as well.

"I'm glad you asked." Shawn started, turning on his heel and heading for the blueberry. "As of right now, Lassie-Frassie, doesn't want to see us in the station at all. Specifically, he doesn't want to see you." Shawn explained, turning to look at Ned. Ned looked down at the shorter man and noticed that Shawn was nearly walking on top of Gus in an attempt to keep a healthy distance between himself and the pie maker. Ned didn't comment but moved to the side as they walked, allowing Gus and Shawn more breathing room.

"Why would Ned need to go to the station?" Gus asked. Shawn tipped his head and gave Gus an incredulous look.

"Ned is part of Team Shawn Spencer right now. Where we go, he has to go. We can't leave him out of any investigation." Shawn explained. Ned stopped as they reached a little blue car.

"Team Shawn Spencer?" Gus scoffed, walking around the hood of the blue car. "Since when have we ever called ourselves Team Shawn Spencer?" Gus asked, unlocking the car with a beep. Ned reached for the back passenger door and pulled it open, slipping inside. Gus and Shawn did the same, never breaking their conversation.

"Team Shawn has awesome hair?" Shawn asked. Gus glared at him.

"Thats stupid." He snapped, turning the key in the ignition. Shawn shrugged,

"Team Psych it is." He declared. Gus huffed in exasperation,

"No! We're not team anything Shawn, it's- Where am I even going right now?" Gus suddenly asked, realizing that he was idling in the courthouse parking lot with nowhere to go.

"Well, as I was saying before you so rudely interrupted, we have to wait for Lassie and Jules to get out of the station before we can-" Shawn hesitated a moment "-Examine the body. In the meantime, we're going to go and talk with some of the witnesses. The closest one being-" Shawn reached into his pocket and pulled out a little business card. Gus reached over and grabbed the card from Shawn's hand.

"Haywood Wooderson?" Gus read the name on the card, "Whose that?" He asked. Shawn took the card back and turned to look at Ned. He tossed the card into the back seat and watched the Pie Maker fumble to catch the little piece of paper.

"Mrs. Wooderson is the woman who found the body. Since we can't see the body yet, we're going to ask her what she remembers about it when she first found it." Shawn explained. Gus shrugged and nodded in agreement.

"All right, tell me where to go."

* * *

Gus parked the blueberry and got out of his car. The entire ride had lasted about thirty minutes. He thought that it would of been awkward, but it hadn't been. Shawn had been just as chatty as the mysterious pie maker. The two had talked and talked and _talked_ about what they had been up to and reminisced about things that had happened during the two months that Shawn had spent at a place called the Pie Hole. Gus pondered on the restaurant they mentioned, a place that dealt exclusively in Pie? Gus felt his mouth water. He definitely wanted to visit that place. Gus looked over at the tall Pie maker. He was climbing out of the back of Gus's car, chatting excitedly with Shawn. It was strange, the way that they seemed to lean towards each other and talk in hushed tones, laughing about old memories, and yet, both were extremely careful about not touching. Allergic to another person? Gus scoffed at the idea, there was no way. And yet, as the pharmaceutical salesman watched Ned the Pie Maker obsessively manage his space so that there was no accidental contact, Gus thought that maybe it was true.

Weird. But true.

Gus shrugged the thoughts away as Shawn walked over to him. The trio reformed their formation from earlier. All walking side by side, Shawn was leaning a little too close to Gus and Ned was leaning slightly too far away from Shawn. It was like the two of them were repealed by one another's presence. Gus looked up at the house they were walking towards. It was a small mobile home with a large empty yard and a small porch. The grass was a brownish yellow color and there was a large sign in front of the house. The sign had a picture of a cartoon raccoon on a shovel.

"Your road kill would be gone, if you would call, Would Be Gone!" Shawn read the sign outloud. He glared at the sign, his voice lowering as he hissed.

"Raccoons." He made a face at the picture. Gus resisted the urge to start an argument with his friend. There was no reasoning with his friend when it came to raccoons. Shawn skipped up the few stairs leading towards the door and knocked rapidly. Gus stopped next to the Pie maker at the bottom of the steps. He examined Ned out of the corner of his eye, the man was fidgeting nervously, his hands clasped behind his back. Gus thought about saying something to him, attempt to maybe lighten the mood since the guy looked so nervous, and really, did he have any other emotions? Before he could say anything though, the door to Mrs. Wooderson's house swung open and a petite woman in a dingy pair of overalls stood with her hand on her hips.

"Yeah?" She sniffed and brushed some of her blond hair out of her blue eyes. "Whatdya want?" She looked around Shawn and down at Gus and Ned, tapping her foot. Her clunky boots thumping loudly. Shawn turned around without answering her and looked down at Ned.

"You might wanna wait out here." He said. Ned frowned and raised a thick eyebrow in confusion.

"Why?" He asked. The woman crossed her arms and Gus noticed that she was actually very muscular.

"Yeah, Why?" She snapped, snorting and spitting something black out of her mouth and onto the ground next to Shawn's foot. Gus leaned away from the house, wishing Shawn would of told him that he could wait outside too. Of course, Shawn never warned Gus before the two of them walked in on something gruesome or heinous. Shawn looked at the woman very seriously,

"My associate," He gestured towards Ned, "Is cloisterphobic." Shawn explained. Gus frowned and squinted in confusion until he realized what Shawn was trying to say.

"Clusterphobic Shawn!" Gus corrected from his spot at the bottom of the stairs. Shawn shot him a wry smile,

"Nope. Pretty sure it's Climacophobic." Shawn smirked and Gus fell silent, taken aback. He was pretty sure that Shawn had just made that word up, but the tone in which he had said it seemed slightly too confident. Gus let it drop. The woman watched, mild disgust on her face.

"So what?" She grouched looking between all the people standing at her door. Even though Gus wasn't as observant as Shawn he could tell that the woman was about to slam the door in their faces. Or call the police on them.

"So, you can obviously see why he cannot enter your home ma'am." Shawn nodded his head sadly and the woman mirrored his actions uncertainly.

"Whatever. What do you want?" She snapped, getting fed up.

"Were with the SBPD, we would just like to ask you some follow up questions about the body you found the other day." Shawn explained, finally getting to the point. Gus watched the woman lean back and roll her eyes.

"Lordy. That business again?" she sighed and stepped to the side allowing Gus to see the inside of her home. "Get in here, I ain't heatin the outside." she grumbled. Shawn thanked her and wandered into the little house, calling for Gus to follow. Gus headed up the stairs and spared a glance at the pie maker. He didn't know what he had been expecting to see on Ned's face, but it wasn't relief. Gus stepped into the house and the woman slammed the door, shutting Ned out. Gus turned his attention forward and instantly wished he was back outside with the pie maker. After all, someone who made pies for a living was definitely more appealing than someone who collected and stuffed dead animals. Which is what he suspected this particular woman did in her spare time. If the taxidermied animals littering the walls and and floors were anything to judge by.

"Shawn!" Gus eyed the woman wearily standing in front of him wearily. In the time it had taken Gus to walk up the stairs and into the house, Shawn had disappeared. Wooderson lifted an arm and gestured down the hall.

"He's in the kitchen." She grumbled. Gus shuffled past her and into the kitchen. Shawn sat at a small round table, he had pulled up a little folding chair next to him so that Gus could sit down. There was a stuffed raccoon sitting on the little table, it was hunched over, a paw raised and its face drawn back in a wicked looking snarl.

"Raccoons." Shawn hissed again, his voice low.

"Sit." Wooderson snapped, suddenly appearing behind Gus. Fearing the woman Gus scrambled over to his seat and threw himself into the chair, crashing into Shawn. Wooderson sat down opposite of them and just stared at them, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Sooo." Shawn started looking around the room. There wasn't an inch of wall that wasn't covered in something dead. Gus looked at the floor, there were standing animals, laying animals, and rugs all over the ground. Most were pushed off to the side, making a creepy little trail for people to walk through.

"So what?" Wooderson slouched in her chair, chewing on something in her mouth.

"What can you tell us about the day you found the body?" Shawn asked reaching forward and pushing the raccoon off to the side so that he didn't have to look at it. Wooderson shrugged.

"Nothin too special about that. Just got a call from the suits. See roadkill removals done by people like me. Private contractors, but it's usually the city that calls us up and sends us out. I didn't get no suspicious phone calls." Wooderson snapped reaching for something on the ground. Shawn nodded,

"Why would you think I wanted to know about suspicious calls?" He asked. Wooderson glared at him.

"Some tall bean poll and some little blond detective were here earlier, askin all kinds a questions. They wanted to know if I knew who called in the body. But I didn't. I told um what I told you. I only gotta call from the boss." She snapped, picking up a taxidermied squirrel from off the ground. Shawn eyed it with disgust.

"Lassie and Jules were already here!?" He whined glancing over at Gus. Gus just shrugged silently.

"Well. Can you tell me what you told them?" Shawn asked. The woman huffed,

"I don't know the victim, I didn't see anything suspicious when I pulled up, and I didn't hear nothing when I got the call." She frowned unhappily.

"C'mon, isn't there anything at all you remember?" Shawn leaned forward and knocked into the stuffed raccoon sitting on the edge of the table, sending it crashing to the ground. Mrs. Haywood's face contorted in anger and her cheeks turned slightly pink. Her eyes darted from the dead raccoon to Shawn.

"No! I don't remember anything else. And I'd appreciate it, if ya'll would stop bothering me with these questions. If I didn't know any better, I would think ya'll think _I'm_ the one that killed that man." she hissed at Shawn, waving the stuffed squirrel in her hands at him. Shawn shrugged.

"Well, you do decorate your house with dead things." Shawn muttered. He snapped his mouth shut quickly, realizing what he had just said when the woman shot up in her seat, her thin patience finally snapping. Both Gus and Shawn stood up quickly as well.

"Dead things!" The woman snarled, backing up and knocking over her own chair. Shawn raised his hands in front of him and waved them frantically.

"Dead things? Did I say that. I meant, well I mean they are dead things, but I meant it in the nicest way possible, like- oh wow, thats a cool talent, being able to use dead things as decorations! Not in a way that's like- hey its kinda creepy that you take rotting animals off the side of the road and then hang them on your wall." Shawn took a breath and Gus resisted the urge to slap him. The woman looked like she was becoming more and more irate with every word out of Shawn's mouth.

"OUT!" she tossed her squirrel at Shawn's head, the little animal hit him square in the forehead.

"Ew! Thats disgusting!" Shawn complained dodging the huge raccoon she lobbed at him next. Gus gave a shriek when the woman turned to glare at him as well. Both men decided it would be in their best interest to see themselves out the door.

And to do it quickly.

Which is how they both ended up scrambling down the small hallway, colliding into taxidermy rabbits, bear heads, dogs and cats. With every animal they knocked over, Mrs. Wooderson's angry yelling got louder and louder, until she was screeching about them disrespecting her things. Shawn and Gus both collided into the door and threw it open, barging out at the same time. Ned, who was still standing on the lawn twirled around and stared in shock at Gus and Shawn.

"And don't come back!" Wooderson scram, tossing a dove and slamming her door shut. The bird she tossed sailed over both Gus and Shawn's heads, and found its way into Ned's unsuspecting hands.


	9. The Biggest Nope Ever

Chapter nine: The Biggest Nope Ever

* * *

He hadn't know what it was. The front door had slammed open and Shawn and Gus had raced out from inside, and the small little blond woman had been screaming at them and then suddenly something was flying through the air and it had been small looking and Ned hadn't even had to reach for it. It just flew right towards his hands and he had caught it without even thinking. Gus and Shawn skidded to a halt in front of him, but the only thing that Ned saw was the way that Gus's eyebrows drew downward and his mouth opened slightly as the dead bird fell to the ground and twitched back to life. The bird didn't do anything, just blinked and took in its surroundings. Gus, similarly just blinked and stared at the bird. Ned tore his eyes away from the dove and looked over at Shawn, who was watching his friend with apprehension. Ned looked back at Gus, he was pale and it didn't look like he was breathing. Ned bent down quickly and with a sharp glance up at Gus, then back down, the pie maker tapped the bird's head. The dove returned to its dead state and when Ned straightened up to start the long conversation about life, death and magic with Gus he was startled to see that Gus wasn't there. Ned looked around the yard,

Gus was nowhere to be seen.

He looked at Shawn and noticed the fake psychic was staring over Ned's shoulder. There was suddenly the sound of something slamming and Ned turned to see Gus sitting behind the wheel of his echo.

"What's he-" Before Ned could get his question out, Gus slammed on the gas, and sped down the gravel road they had driven on earlier.

"I'm Sorry." Ned apologize, he felt ashamed. Very little people knew about him, but Gus's reaction was what he expected from people. Fear and rejection. He looked over at Shawn. The fake psychic just shrugged.

"He took that pretty well. And the only reason we came here was because I was trying to think of a way to distract him for a while while you and I went and talked to dead Mr. Fields. Couldn't really invite him along for that." Shawn explained, glancing back at the house he and Gus had just run from.

"Still..."Ned looked down at the taxidermy bird that had started the whole mess.

"Let's worry about getting off this lady's lawn before she comes out her and tosses some raccoons at us." Shawn glared straight ahead. "Raccoons. We don't need any of _those _coming back to life." The fake psychic hissed, stepping forward at the same time as Ned, and nearly walking into him. The two recoiled from one another. Both men paused and stared at one another, their eyes wide at the near collision.

"You know, me and my girlfriend, whenever one of us is about to walk somewhere or move or something we say it before we do it, then we wait for the other to acknowledge it before we carry out the action." Ned explained. Shawn looked up at him with a small frown.

"That sounds exhausting." The fake psychic said. Ned just shrugged.

"We live together. It's better than accidentally killing her." Shawn sighed and nodded.

"All right. Let's get off Wooderson's lawn and I'll call someone to give us a ride." The two of them walked side by side cautiously, leaning away from one another. Once they put some distance between themselves and the old mobile home Shawn dug into his pocket and stared at his phone. Ned watched him search through his contacts.

"Who are you calling?" He asked, noting the unhappy expression on Shawn's face. The fake psychic sighed, his shoulders rising and falling dramatically.

"Gus won't answer right now. Lassie would laugh me off the phone, and Jules is probably with Lassie." Shawn explained staring at his phone like it was something rotten. "That just leaves..." Shawn trailed off and stared at his phone, his expression becoming more and more distraught.

"Who?" Ned asked. Shawn shook his head.

"It won't work. If I call him, he'll pry. He'll wanna know why Gus left me alone. And his truck is too small for us to both sit in at the same time." Shawn gave a helpless shrug.

"Who?" Ned asked again, getting curious. Shawn looked up at Ned's face.

"My dad." He stated, dropping his arm to his side. Ned made a little _ohhing_ noise.

"Your dad." He repeated the word quietly, remembering the horrid relationship Shawn had had with his father. Shawn shrugged.

"Well, it's not like it was back then. We get along better now. I suppose. I just don't want him prying." Shawn explained. Ned nodded silently.

"Can we call a cab?" Ned asked, the road they were on was a gravel one, and it was out in the woods, but it wasn't too far out of the way of the city. Shawns fingers flew to his head.

"Yeah, I think I saw a number for a cab company on the cover of a phonebook not too long ago." Shawn closed his eyes and fell silent. Ned wondered what he was doing, but after a few seconds, Shawn's eyes opened and he started typing in a number on his phone. Someone answered after a couple rings. Ned watched Shawn talk patiently, looking around the road they were on. There had only been a few cars that had passed. He supposed they could hitch-hike if they had to. Or he could call Chuck or Olive. Ned frowned, he could even of called Emerson. Shawn hung up his phone, drawing Ned's attention.

"What was this?" Ned asked, bringing his fingers up to his forehead and copying the gesture that Shawn had just made. Shawn copied him so that both of them were standing on the side of the road, their fingers pointing at their temples. Shawn just smiled.

"Well, since I know _your_ deepest darkest secret I suppose I can tell you_ mine_." Shawn started. His voice dropped to a whisper,

"I'm not really a psychic." He laughed once and looked out at the road. "It's been a long time since ive told that to someone. I mean, I know you probably already knew, but still. I haven't admitted it outloud in a long time." Shawn explained, stuffing his hands, and his phone back into his pants pockets. Ned watched silently.

"Yeah, I was wondering about that." Ned admitted. He had kept his mind open about the whole psychic thing, considering his own powers.

"Well, this-" He lifted his hand and pointed at his head, "Is kinda a habit. Dad taught me to do it when I was little. To help me focus. It became one of my psychic poses, but its really me just trying to remember something." Shawn said.

"Like the number of some random cabbie company you saw on a phonebook a while ago?" Ned asked. Shawn nodded.

"So what do we do now?" Ned asked as they waited for their cab.

"Well, we have to wait for my informant to text us and tell me when Lassie and Jules leave the station. Until then, we can just head to the psych office." Shawn offered.

"Then we just go ask Fields who killed him?" Ned asked.

"Yeah, only problem is, we don't have any way to get to the station. Unless you wanna try and ride on my motorcycle with me." Shawn laughed.

"That, probably wouldn't work well." Ned amended, the two falling into silence.

"That means that we should probably track down Gus. We need the blueberry." Shawn reasoned. Ned didn't like the idea of tracking down Gus. There hadn't been many people that had found out about his secret, but Gus had had the worst reaction of anyone who had ever known. That reaction was not something he wanted to face.

"You don't think Gus'll..." Ned trailed off, he didn't know Gus well, and was worried about what the man might do with his newly discovered information. Shawn took a moment to work out what Ned was implying. His head tilted back and his eyebrows raised,

"Ah, Tell? No. If I know Gus, And I know Gus, He probably went straight home, hopped on the internet, looked up a bunch of weird superstitious stuff and is now trying to make items that ward off evil. Once he gets that done, he'll probably just stress eat." Shawn hypothesized. Shawn seemed so certain that Ned allowed himself to not worry about it.

"Well, do you think that Mrs. Wooderson killed Mr. Fields?" Ned asked changing the subject. Shawn pursed his lips.

"She was definitely angry enough to kill someone. I don't know though. When we get to the station, I'll try and see if Lassie gathered any more information on her, because me and Gus got absolutely nothing." He frowned and rubbed his forehead. "Except assaulted by dead animals."

* * *

Shawn and Ned sat crammed against the far sides of the taxi they were riding in, doing their best to avoid each other, even when the taxi driver sped around corners.

"Do you think-" Shawn's sentence was cut short as the taxi driver took a hard right, which would of sent Shawn flying to the other side of the taxi, had the fake psychic not grabbed ahold of the handle on the ceiling of the car. The taxi straightened out and Shawn continued his sentence.

"Do you think that you can get Fields to tell us what happened?" He asked, they took another hard turn and Shawn braced himself. He was beginning to suspect that the grumpy taxi driver that had picked them up was purposefully trying to get him to fall into Ned. Shawn thought about it, if he was a taxi driver and two people looked like they were trying to stay as far away from one another as possible, he might be tempted to try and get them to crush one another by taking corners especially fast. It would be kind of funny, if it wasn't for the fact that Shawn would die if he let himself slip. Ned looked at Shawn, his worried eyebrows back with avengence.

"M-most of the time I can get them to talk." He answered, keeping the statements vague, just in case the cabbie was listening.

"What do you mean most of the time?" Shawn asked, the cabbie took a hard left this time and Shawn cringed away as Ned leaned towards him, though the pie maker was bracing himself using the little handle on the ceiling, Shawn still felt slightly uneasy. If that thing broke...

"I mean, that at first they are pretty willing to just answer whatever I ask. The longer they're...awake...though, the more they begin to realize what's going on and then they usually have their own questions." Ned explained. Shawn nodded, he remembered when he first woke up after Ned's touch, he had felt like nothing had been real. Hell, he hadn't even been concerned with the blood he'd been soaking in. It wasn't until after the minute had been up that the gravity of the situation had hit him.

"You don't think that Gus will attack me on sight do you? Because I'd really appreciate not being stabbed, bludgeoned or shot." Ned asked, relaxing slightly now that road in front of them was evening out. Shawn laughed, Gus was an odd one when it came to his superstitions, and honestly there was no telling if he would react by fainting, screaming and running away, or by swinging his Nimbus 2000 replica at Ned's head.

"We're almost there." Shawn decided it was best not to worry the pie maker.

* * *

Gus set the iron skillet down on his couch, taking in his arsonal. He was ready for anything that might come at him. He had salt, garlic, multiple crosses, hand drawn egyptian, buddhist, japanese, chinese, protection symbols, silver forks and knives, some sage and cilantro he'd found in his pantry. He wasn't sure if cilantro would do anything, but he'd grabbed it just because it had been there. He also had Mirrors and some little white rock he'd found in one of his house plants that looked like it could of maybe of been a magical crystal. He also had windchimes a picture he'd printed of jesus, and an old bible. Gus stared down at his collection, feeling slightly safer. He didn't know what he had seen Ned do, he didn't like the way Shawn wasn't surprised by it, but he was having no part of it. No sir. There was no way he was going to get involved with something supernatural and weird that would probably leave him cursed for all eternity. Satisfied with his pile, Gus turned his attention to the kitchen.

He wandered around, looking through his pantries for something to eat. There was nothing that he felt like making. He opened his freezer, hoping for icecream, but instead found a frozen pie. Which would have been appetizing, had the pie not reminded him of Ned. Ned who was probably a demon and made pies for a living. pies of evil. Gus glared at the once delicious delicacy and slammed the freezer door shut. He was about to rummage around for something else when he heard a loud banging. He shrieked in fear, slipping on his tiled floor and catching himself on his fridges handle.

"Burton Gustor! We have come to collect your soul!" Shawns voice boomed from behind Gus's front door. Gus straightened and scowled at the door. He was about to yell at Shawn to go away when he heard another, much quieter voice.

"Shawn. Please, you're going to make him think I'm a monster and then he probably _will _attack me." Gus identified the voice as Ned the pie maker. before the demonic pie maker had finished his sentence, Gus had scrambled over to his collection of weapons. There were too many choices and as Gus was trying to choose the best option he heard Shawn call out to him again.

"Dude. We're coming in now. Don't throw anything at us." Gus heard a key sliding into his doorknob and cursed Shawn's uncanny ability to always locate his hide-a-key rock. Practically hopping from foot to foot in anxiety, Gus grabbed the first thing he saw and whipped around with it just as he heard the front door swing open. With a yell Gus swung his Harry Potter Nimbus 2000 replica at the evil entering his domain. Unfortunately the first person through his door hadn't been the evil pie maker it had been Shawn. Shawns yell synchronized with Gus's and was cut short when the bristly end of the broom hit him in the face. Shawn let out a disgruntled, oomph and stumbled backwards. Gus watched as the pie maker scrambled away from Shawn's flailing arms. Regaining his balance, Shawn blinked a few times then shook his head. He reached up and felt his nose, examined his chin, his jaw and then turned angry eyes towards his best friend.

"Dude!" Shawn started throwing his arms out. "You could've broken my nose! Or my jaw! What the heck!" Shawn snapped. Gus raised his broom like it was a bat, getting ready to take another swing.

"I don't care Shawn. You deserve it! I don't know what you're into but I will not be dealing with wizards, ghosts, demons, mummies or vampires or time travelers." Gus snapped, taking another swing at Shawn with his broom. Though he mostly swung it to add emphasis to his defiance, more than to try and hit Shawn again.

"Vampires? What? Ned's not a Vampire Gus." Shawn scoffed and watched as Gus swung the broom harmlessly through the air again. Gus didn't care what Ned was. Gus didn't want to have anything to do with the supernatural. Ned choose that moment to speak up from his place behind Shawn.

"I-I can explain Gus-" Gus swung the broom again.

"Nope! No way. You think I'll let you just talk me into whatever scheme your hatching?" Gus shook his head, "Vampires can compel people to forget things and do their bidding. It's probably too late for Shawn, but I won't let you mind control me." Gus snapped, taking a step back. Shawn let out an exasperated sigh.

"Would you stop it! Ned's not a vampire. That's ridiculous." Shawn started.

"Ridiculous? I hardly think that anything is ridiculous anymore. And how long have you known about him?" Gus asked. Shawn shrugged,

"I figured it out after meeting him."

"And you never told me?" Gus looked like he had just been grievously wounded.

"Buddy, I can't just tell anyone about it. It's not my secret." Shawn tried to placate his irate friend.

"You told me there were no such things as mummies curses! That Ghosts aren't real!" Gus suddenly remembered all those cases that Shawn had dragged him too. All those _supernatural _cases that Gus had only agreed to accompany Shawn on because Shawn had insisted that there was no such thing as the supernatural.

"Well they aren't." Shawn said. Gus gaped at him.

"You can't say that for certain! Not after-after-Well, I don't know what he did exactly but..." Gus trailed off and frowned. He had always believed in ghosts and the supernatural, and he had always done his best to stay away from that sort of stuff, better to be out of the way of a gruesome curse then to go meddling with things that should be left alone, and yet, here Shawn had gone and bought a possible demon/vampire/wizard straight to his doorstep. Gus and Shawn stared at one another, at an impasse until Shawn finally spoke, raising his hands slowly.

"Listen, this isn't as bad as you think it is all right? I know how you feel. When I learned the truth I felt like everything I had ever known was wrong." Shawn raised his eyebrows and nodded his head slowly. Gus felt himself lower the broom just a fraction, and mirror Shawn's nodding. Something was tickling in the back of Gus's brain, a voice trying to make him aware of something, but before he could dwell on it Shawn continued to speak.

"When Ned showed me what he could do, it was scary. I didn't know what I was seeing, I wondered if that meant that things I was sure _weren't_ real, were real. I had to question everything. It was horrible." Shawn took another step forward and reached for the broom slowly. Gus agreed, he felt horrible, he had always been scared of the supernatural but the supernatural had always just been a thorey. A ghost story he could tell himself wasn't real...now though...Gus lowered the broom further, allowing Shawn to take it from him.

"There. See, just have a seat and we can talk this all through." Shawn pulled the broom close to himself and gestured towards the couch. Gus started and stared at Shawn with wide eyes. The thought that had been knocking quietly in the back of his brain came back. Made him aware of the tone of voice that Shawn was using. The tone that he only used on irrational criminals when he was trying to talk them out of doing something crazy. Gus huffed and crossed his arms over his chest indignantly. Flopping down onto his couch he glared at Shawn.

"I'm not crazy Shawn." Gus snapped. Shawn just smiled at him and sat in the couch opposite of Gus.

"Never said you were buddy." Shawn grabbed one of Guss pillows and placed it in his lap.

"Now, where to begin."


End file.
